For teacher’s reference
Happiness is an inner state, a state of harmony, where there is alignment within and with the world outside. It's a state in which our thoughts and feelings are conflict-free, steady and positive. A state where we are in harmony with people around us and have sustained positive feelings. We like to be in such a state and strive for its continuity. Thus, we try to find happiness in the work we do and in our interaction with others, or the way others work and behave with us.
When we understand what we are reading, we feel happy. (When I am able to think clearly and find solutions, I feel happy. When I know my goals clearly I feel happy. When I am able to achieve what I want for example in exams or in sports, then too I feel happy.) Sometimes we feel happy while receiving something and sometimes in giving. We get happy if someone takes our troubles away but we also find happiness in making a sacrifice for others. There is happiness in victory and sometimes in defeat too. In all these situations, our feelings and thoughts are constantly driven by our motivation to do something good or right. Once, our inner state is aligned and conflict free, we feel fulfilled and have genuine feelings of trust and respect in relationships, that is the feeling of happiness.
In the Happiness Class, we will explore different ways in which we feel happy. We will understand what makes us happier or less happy; we will observe when is our happiness momentary and when is it long-lasting. We will also examine the two states of - ‘doing something to be happy’ or ‘ being happy within and then doing something’ and which of these two states is more desirable. We will also try to understand what aspects of happiness are universal and what aspects may vary from individual to individual. We look to explore and understand all these aspects in the Happiness Class, but in this chapter, we will first try to understand Happiness.
(Teachers are requested to read the paragraphs given above and understand the purpose of the Happiness Class. In the first chapter, we will discuss the following topics through various activities and stories.)
Section 1: Why do we need the Happiness Class?
Activity 1.1: Why do we need education?
Story 1.1: Alexander and Diogenes
Section 2: How much happiness is required? Is it required Sometimes or always? Required a Little or more?
Activity 2.1: How much happiness is needed?
Story 2.1: The Mind Palace
Activity 2.2: Being happy – sources and duration
Story 2.2: Rabia’s Needle
Section 3: What is Happiness?
Activity 3.1: When do we feel happy?
Activity 3.2: Why do we feel sad?
Story 3.1: What is real and what is fake?
Section 1: Why do we need the Happiness class?
For teacher’s reference:
Main message: Whatever we do in our lives, is driven by the pursuit to be happy.
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To make students reflect on the main purpose of education, which is, to be in a state of happiness. Also, to make students observe that whatever we do, we do for our happiness.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Note for teachers: Most of the students are not sure why do they need to study. Livelihood is considered as one of the biggest goals of education. But we can see, livelihood too is a medium to achieve a larger goal,which is, the well being or happiness of ourselves and of our near and dear ones. Thus, if learners can see that the eventual purpose of education is happiness, they will be more motivated and successful in whatever they do. The purpose of this Happiness Class is to make students aware of this goal and to show them the path to reach this very goal.
Steps of the activity
1. The teacher asks the students in the class, “Why do you need education? Why do you have to pass the exams? Why do you want to come first? Why do you want to earn money? Why do you want to win a medal in sports?”
2. Students think about these for a moment and write their answers in their notebooks. (Students can also discuss with their seat partners and seek each other’s help.)
3. The teacher encourages them to share their responses. He/she need not help the students in framing the answer but allow them to express their thoughts in their own words.
4. The teacher may capture the important ideas by writing them on the board. He/she may request a student from the class to assist him/her in this task.
5. It is important that all children must get an opportunity to share their thoughts with the class.
6. The teachers may motivate the students to think further by repeatedly asking ‘why’ for every answer.
7. The teacher steers the discussion towards the aspect of happiness being the eventual goal (after which no further ‘why’ questions may be asked). All the discussion leading to the point that we do everything to be happy, or we all want to be happy. The teacher should keep asking questions till a point is arrived where the answer is "to be happy","I will get peace of mind" etc.
8. The teacher asks the students to give examples of things we do without thinking - whether these things bring us happiness or not. The examples can be personal or social, such as
a. Someone got hurt and you helped.
b. Someone was feeling cold and you gave him/her your blanket.
c. Why do we need a gift or anything?
9. The students will arrive at the same conclusion: that all our actions are in search of happiness; be it taking care of ourselves or helping others.
Note: If a student gives the answer in the beginning that whatever he/she does, he/she does it for happiness, the teacher may ask the student what he/she will do next and why. Else, the teacher may move the discussion forward by asking questions from other children.
Proposed questions for discussion
The teacher is now requested to write a message on the board - anything we do, we do it to be happy – and discuss with students. As the students speak, the teacher will note the points and comments.
Dos and Don’ts
If students find it difficult to write complete sentences in the notebook, they may write key words only. For instance, instead of writing the whole sentence “I want to be a doctor”, they can just write, “Doctor”.
Story 1.1: Alexander and Diogenes
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To make the students realise that the basic purpose of our lives is to find long lasting and continuous happiness. Even though some people may look for happiness by indulging in wrong practices, others may be looking for happiness by doing the right thing.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Direction of discussions (For Teachers): The purpose of this story and the discussion at the end is to make students reflect on their behaviour in two different scenarios as:
a.when you do something to be happy
b.when you do something happily
When we end up doing something to be happy, we are constantly thinking of the next thing to ‘do’ to be happy. For example, I bought a new pair of clothes to feel happy. After buying the clothes, I again feel an emptiness and want to do something (such as, go out for a movie) or buy something else to feel happy again. This is not a steady (happy) state to be in. In fact, this state can make us restless. Our restlessness further reflects as impatience onto others.
Whereas, if I am happy and doing things - my inner state remains the same (steady), irrespective of the outcome. If my inner state is steady and reflects happiness, then my work and behaviour will also reflect happiness (and patience) onto others.
If the children are able to view their actions (work and behaviour) with regard to point b, they will be in control of their own happiness. They will not be disappointed, irritated or jealous; rather they will be filled with positivity and happiness.
Story
In ancient Greece, there lived a wise man, Diogenes. He was very famous, people came from far and wide to meet him. He always used to give people same advice,"If you do something to be happy, you will be disappointed when you don’t get what you want. However, if you do something when you are already happy, you will always be happy whether or not you get what you desire". Around this time, an emperor named Alexander, was waging wars around the world to fulfil his desire to conquer the world. Wherever he went, he started a war and enslaved people. Millions of people were killed in these wars. Once Alexander met Diogenes. Alexander told Diogenes with great arrogance, “I am Alexander the Great, and I want to conquer the whole world. I have heard that you are a great man. I can fulfil any wish you may have.” Diogenes asked, “Why are you fighting so many wars?” Alexander replied, “I want to conquer the whole world. Now only a few countries are left. Once I defeat them, I will sit and relax.” To this, Diogenes said, “You will not be happy even if you win the whole world, because the day you win the whole world, you will be sad thinking that there is nothing left to win now. Secondly, true happiness lies in uplifting humanity and not in bringing it down. So think about it, do you want to do something to be happy or you want to do something while you are happy?”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. In what ways was Alexander looking for happiness?
2. When Alexander went to another country,After enslaving or killing the people of that country, he felt that he would be very happy if he defeated that country in war. The teacher asks the students if they thought Alexander was right. (Do not tell the children what is right or wrong, but let them express their opinion. Just ask them to give reasons for assuming it to be right or wrong.) 3. Can someone who is happy perform an inappropriate act, such as exploiting or hurting others?
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
Day 2
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. Diogenes told Alexander that even if he won the whole world, he wouldn’t be happy. Why did he say that?
2. Discuss with children about the two possibilities -
- doing something with a happy state of mind
- doing something to achieve a happy state of mind
Ask them to give examples of both the states. The examples should be relatable to children, such as eating an ice cream to be happy or eating an ice cream because you are happy, wearing good clothes with a happy mind or trying to be happy by wearing good clothes, to help someone with a happy mind or to find happiness by helping someone. What is the difference between the two states?
3. Discuss with children if a person can be happy by being the richest man in the world. For this discussion, give examples of celebrities like Ratan Tata or Bill Gates who have donated their wealth for various social causes.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Dos and Don’ts
For teacher’s reference:
We have now seen in Section 1 that everyone wants happiness.
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To make the students aware that we need happiness all the time and continuously.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Steps of the activity & Proposed questions of discussion
Discuss the following questions with the students:
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2:
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Briefly recall the previous day’s discussion and move forward in the following manner:
Proposed questions for discussion:
1. We like eating laddoos, does this mean we can eat them throughout the day?
2. We like to sleep on a comfortable bed, do we keep sleeping (and not get up at all)? Is that feasible?
3. We like to travel by car, should we keep sitting in the car always? Is it acceptable to us?
4. We like to sit under the fan or in the AC, can we always sit like that?
5. What if we are always glued to our computers?
6. We like watching movies, can we always keep watching them? Is it possible?
7. If we keep playing always, would we be happy? (Won't we be happy if we win, sad if we lose and tired and hungry after a while?)
8. Can we go on eating our favourite food? (Dont we like variety? We get bored with the same thing after a while. And if we keep eating it, after sometime it would become unbearable.)
In this manner, all the things listed by the children can be discussed.
Through the above questions, the students can see that though the happiness drawn from anything like food, music etc gives pleasure initially, it can become less enjoyable after a while and then painful with over usage. We do need material and physical things, but this happiness is short term in nature and does not bring us long lasting happiness. At the same time, we aspire for continuous happiness.
By now, it should have become clear to the students that our aspiration is for continuous happiness, and that cannot be fulfilled through physical facilities or material things alone.There are other sources of happiness which offer deeper and continuous happiness, as will see in the next few classes.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Story 2.1: The Mind Palace
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To bring the attention of the students towards the fact that long-lasting happiness is not found in physical facilities.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Direction of discussion (For Teachers): The purpose of telling this story and discussing the questions based on it is to help the students understand that to secure comforts and facilities and to enjoy them is not wrong, but dependency on them is a sign of weakness. A strong person is not the one who has a lot of comfort, or the one who has distanced himself from them. A strong person is indeed the one who does not become unhappy if physical facilities are reduced and keeps moving forward in their absence or scarcity. Or, a strong person is also the one who rightly utilises physical facilities and doesn’t think of over consumption but does rightful consumption. Such a person can have access to long term happiness.
Story
In a kingdom, a hermit was living under a tree for many days. The hermit was very renowned. People would come to meet him from far away. And so, even in the eyes of the king of this kingdom, he was an acclaimed hermit. One day, the king went to meet him. His conversation with the hermit deeply inspired the king and he requested the hermit to come to stay in his palace instead of living under the tree. The hermit agreed and said, “Wherever you will ask me to stay, I will.” The king was a little surprised. He thought that the hermit would say, “What would a hermit like me do in a palace?” But the hermit acted against the king’s expectation and was immediately ready to go with the king. The king was taken aback, but because he himself had proposed this, he had to take the hermit to the palace.
The king made all the comforts of the palace available to the hermit. Carpets were laid out, comfortable mattresses were provided for sleeping, and delicious food was served. The hermit began to use all of these facilities. The king thought, “What kind of a hermit is he? He didn’t even say once , ‘I’m a hermit, I do not sleep on the mattress, I sleep on the ground.’ He didn’t say even once that hermits do not need such delicious food. They eat very simple, plain food.”
After a few days passed by, the king asked him, “Maharaj, I have a doubt. I want to know if you were happier living under the tree or here in the palace amidst all the comforts.” The hermit told him, “What has happiness got to do with living in a palace or under a tree?” The king thought that probably the hermit had become accustomed to living in the palace. So he asked, “I live in a palace and now even you live in a palace. So what is the difference between a worldly person like me and a hermit like you?”
The hermit said, “If you want to understand the difference, come out of the palace with me.” The king went with him. When they reached quite far from the palace, the king asked the hermit to tell him the difference. The hermit said, “Let’s go a little further.” Now the sun was really hot and the king was getting increasingly uncomfortable. So he asked again, “Maharaj, please tell me now. We have come far away and have to go back to the palace too.” The hermit said, “See, you have known what it is to stay in a palace. Now stay with me and only then will you get the answer.” The king questioned him about how he could leave the palace, the kingdom and go with him.
And to this the hermit replied, “Here lies the difference between a worldly person and a hermit. When a worldly person moves out, there is a lot in his mind that stops him. But a hermit has nothing in his mind that can stop him from going ahead. When I was living under the tree, the tree was not inside me, that’s why I came to the palace with you. When I lived in the palace, then too, the palace wasn’t inside me, but it is inside you, and that is why it is stopping you.”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. In the story, the hermit asks the king – how is a palace related to happiness? Discuss this. Can one be happy always merely by getting a chance to live in a palace?
2. Is it possible for one person to live happily despite living in a simple house and another to be unhappy even in a palace?
3. Can all the comforts of a palace make a person happy if he/she is not happy within?
(Through the above questions, try to help the children understand that facilities are needed and we should have them but only physical facilities and comforts cannot make a person happy. For that, clarity within oneself, good happy relationships, love and respect in the family and in society are needed. One can’t be happy only with comforts, but if a person is really happy within, then he/she can be happy with less facilities too.)
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
Day 2:
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. What are the facilities around us that, if we have to give up some of these, will it restrict our progress and growth?
2. What are the things that people possess, not because they need them but to show off?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Dos and Don’ts
Activity 2.2: Being happy – from what and for how long?
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To help the students critically evaluate where they are searching for happiness and what kind of happiness are they receiving.
For teacher’s reference:
Steps of the activity
1. The teacher divides the students into small groups.
2. The teacher asks the students in each group, to discuss and make a list of the things, relationships and incidents that make them happy. The teacher encourages the students to write as much as they want to.
3. After 5-7 minutes, the teacher asks the students to share their lists. As the students read their lists, the teacher writes the points on the board.
4. Now, to take the discussion further, the teacher makes three columns on the board:
A. Happiness from physical facilities.
B. Happiness from relationships
C. Happiness by understanding
5. As the students read out their lists, the teacher writes some of those examples in the appropriate column. Please see the following table for reference.
6. The teacher completes this activity by sharing with them the following three kinds of happiness:
First – Happiness from Physical Facilities: when we enjoy physical facilities or seek happiness from sensory pleasures.
Second – Happiness from Relationships: when there are mutual feelings of trust, respect, care etc and we are happy in our relationships. This is what we call harmony or mutual fulfillment in relationships.
Third – Happiness from Understanding: when we have clarity about our needs (physical, emotional and psychological needs that are not in conflict with the other), our goal (goal of happiness that is common to everyone) and when we have a clear picture of harmony at all levels (individual, family and friends, society, nature), we call it Happiness from Understanding. Harmony in our thoughts, speech and action is a reflection of our Understanding.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2:
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. The teacher writes the main points of the previous class on the blackboard once more and makes the same table.
2. Students examine the table in depth.
Proposed questions for discussion:
1. What is the difference among these three kinds of happiness?
2. Is there a difference in their lasting value? Which happiness would last for how long?
3. From the above three columns, which happiness is –
a. momentary?
b. long-lasting?
c. continuous and forever?
4. Where have you been looking for happiness till now?
5. Does the happiness you obtain that way stay for a long time or do you have to look for or do something else to become happy again?
6. Based on the above discussion, for each column ask the students which of these kinds of happiness would stay for longer. Ask the students if the following is right:
A. Happiness from physical facilities = Momentary Happiness
B. Happiness from relationships = Long-lasting Happiness
C. Happiness from understanding = Continuous Happiness
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Note for teachers:
Happiness from physical facilities = momentary happiness. The children might say that some physical facilities give momentary happiness and some give long-lasting happiness. Like, the happiness of eating chocolate is momentary but the one gained from new clothes or a new cycle etc. can last much longer, perhaps even for a few years. So the children may question why these aren’t included in long-lasting happiness?
It can be shared with the students that the happiness derived from any physical facility lasts till the time it is new, novel or intact. As soon as there is a newer model or a more attractive physical facility with someone else, happiness from that physical facility begins to reduce. Similarly, the happiness can disappear if the physical facility is destroyed.
Happiness from relationships = deeper (long-lasting) happiness. This can be a bit confusing so it should be communicated clearly. Some students might say that the happiness derived from relationships can also be continuous happiness. The students are right in their thinking, but make it clear to them that happiness from relationships is continuous when we are always happy with the behaviour of the person concerned with the relationship. Till the time the person behaves as per our expectation, we are happy, but as soon as he/she talks or acts against our belief or wish, our happiness vanishes. As compared to happiness from physical facilities, this one is longer lasting, thus may seem continuous, but in reality, this is derived out of behaviour of another person, which is not continuous.
Similarly, happiness from understanding = continuous happiness. Explain to the students that the process of understanding itself gives happiness and when we are able to understand something, that understanding stays with us forever. Like, if we understand that 2+2=4 once, we will remember it forever. Water quenches thirst, and fire hurts. If this understanding is developed once, it always stays. This can be understood with one more logic. If we understand the financial condition of our parents once, it won’t bother us that they may not be spending as much on us as other parents spend on their children. Eventually, if we are able to understand our purpose in life, understand and resolve our daily conflicts, understand how to live better in relations, in society, this understanding leads to continuous happiness.
In this way, through this activity, we understand that whenever we derive happiness externally through physical facilities, it is momentary. But when we are happy because of the right feelings and understanding (of harmony),the happiness stays with us for longer.
We will try to understand this in greater depth through a story …
Story 2.2: Rabia’s Needle
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To make the students realise that deeper (long-lasting) happiness can be understood and experienced within ourselves and is not just based on events outside or on material things.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Story
The people of a village were always busy criticising each other. This was a huge reason for their sorrow. In this village, lived a saintly lady called Rabia. She would always adopt new ways of helping the villagers to see sense.
One evening, she was looking for something in front of her house. Passers-by saw her searching for something and asked, “What have you lost?” Rabia answered, “My needle has fallen.” These people thought that the old lady had poor eyesight and so they should help her. They too began to look for the needle. Then, one of them thought that the needle is a tiny object and till it is not known exactly where it had fallen, it would be difficult to look for it on such a wide road? The person asked Rabia, “Maaji, please tell us where exactly your needle had fallen.” Rabia said, “The needle had fallen inside the house.”
Upon listening to her answer, the villagers were taken aback and began to wonder if the old lady had become senile. If the needle had fallen inside the house then why was she looking for it outside? When Rabia was asked about this, she said, “Even I know this, but it is dark inside, and there is light only outside. How do I look for the needle in darkness? It can only be found in the light.”
The villagers started laughing. They started telling Rabia, “Looks like age has impacted your understanding. Even if there is no light outside the house, the needle will have to be searched for outside only.”
Now, it was Rabia’s turn to laugh. She said, “Beta, you are talking about being sensible, but I’m following the method I see all of you adopting.” The villagers were taken aback and asked, “What do you mean?” Rabia continued, “Every day I see you criticising each other. In reality, you are all looking for happiness in each other and when you don’t get it, you criticise the other person. While long lasting happiness is actually within you. You look for it in others’ behaviour, in their gifts, in the favours you receive from them, in the compliments you get and in the work others do for you, while your happiness is actually lost somewhere in your mind. Look for happiness where it can be found.”
The villagers understood that Rabia was pretending to look for the needle to make them understand,' the true meaning of happiness'.
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion:
1. Do you also look for happiness outside (in physical things, in criticising others) like the villagers? How?
2. Take an example from your life – have you criticised your friends or relatives in front of someone? If yes, what was the reason behind that criticism?
3. Why does it happen often that people seem to be happy when they criticise others? (as they are able to prove the other one wrong at that point of time)
4. Are those who criticise others looking for happiness in the other person (that is, by putting down the other person) or in themselves?
5. Is it possible that those who criticise others may get the ability to look for happiness within themselves?
Note for teacher: The purpose of the above questions is to get the students to reflect and examine their thoughts and to be able to share their thoughts openly. If the students are able to understand that deeper (long lasting) happiness comes from living in harmonious relationships and clarity of thought (on how to get there) leads to continuous happiness, then their confidence will peak, and instead of feeling jealous of others’ success, they will focus on their own growth. While discussing these questions, try that each student is able to reflect and introspect and put his/her point forward. It takes courage to give an example from one’s own life, so take good care that while a student’s sharing – someone else should not make fun of what they’re saying, else the student will feel disheartened. Ensure that the entire class pays full attention to what the child is sharing and when required, the class should encourage the child instead of making fun. If required, to help the children get over any inhibition, the teacher may give an example from his/her own life.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2:
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. How can you find or identify deeper (long lasting) happiness within you? (Clue: With the right feelings in relationships, with positive thinking, with clarity in thoughts)
2. What is the difference between ‘being happy’ and ‘looking happy’? In our everyday life, where does our attention go? What do we find more important? Discuss.
3. If you do something well but there is no one to see it, how would you feel? Does this impact your capability? Discuss.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
In the next section, let’s explore more on what is happiness.
For teacher’s reference:
● We have now seen in Section 2 that whatever we do, we do for happiness. And we also want to be in a state of continuous happiness. Momentary Happiness can be drawn from sources outside and deeper happiness can be understood inside us.
● We want to be happy, but how do we ensure we can be happy?
● Everyone wants happiness, but is not clear about what happiness is.
● Even if we discuss what happiness is with family and friends, everyone will have different thoughts.
● ‘What is happiness?’ Without knowing this clearly it is not possible to be happy.
● In this section, we will build clarity among students about what is happiness.
● By the end of the section, it would be clear to the students that everyone aims for happiness, and what are the ways of attaining long lasting and continuous happiness.
With the help of an activity, we will try to recognise when we feel happy.
Activity 3.1: When do we feel happy?
Time: 1-2 periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To help the students understand that we are happy when our needs are fulfilled.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Steps of the Activity
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Dos & Don’ts:
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To enable the students to understand that:
1. When they feel upset, somewhere their need isn’t being fulfilled.
2. They are able to examine that unfulfillment of their need is the reason for their sadness.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Steps of the Activity
The teacher talks to all the students for 2-4 minutes and creates an environment where they would be able to share even those incidents from their daily life where they find themselves unhappy. Make the different situations of unhappiness a part of this discussion, such as, feeling disturbed, upset, worried, sad, etc. After a 2-4 minute discussion, encourage the students to write a few examples from the past few days in their notebooks when they were upset.
Examples of incidents:
1. There are three reasons for our unhappiness. Lack of things, lack of feelings and lack of understanding. Do you agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
2. What do you think is the reason for more unhappiness – lack of things, lack of feelings in relationships or lack of understanding? Discuss.
3. How long does the unhappiness from lack of things last? Explain with examples. (Clue: Till the physical facility is not gained.)
4. How long does the unhappiness from relationships last? Explain with examples. (Clue: Till the relationship is not harmonious.)
5. How long does the unhappiness from understanding last? Explain with an example. (Answer: Till we are unable to understand.)
6. What is the way out of these kinds of unhappiness?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Story 3.1: What is real and what is fake?
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To draw the attention of the students towards taking right decisions while maintaining harmonious relationships even in difficult times.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Story
After Sohan’s father passed away, his family was reeling under a financial crisis. Sohan’s mother gave him her necklace and asked him to sell it at his Chacha’s shop. Sohan’s Chacha was a goldsmith. When Sohan showed the necklace to his Chacha, he examined the necklace and told Sohan, “The market is in a slump right now; sell it after a while.” Sohan was disappointed on hearing this but then his Chacha said, “You can work at my shop. In any case, I need a dependable assistant here.”
Sohan started learning work at the shop the very next day. He was taught to test diamonds and other precious stones. Gradually, he learnt how to test precious stones. After a few months, his Chacha said to him, “Now you may bring the necklace that you wanted to sell.”
When Sohan reached home and took the necklace from his mother, he realised it was fake! He ran to his Chacha’s shop and asked him, “Why didn’t you tell me the truth when I came to sell the necklace months ago.” On this, his Chacha said, “If at that time I’d have told you the truth, you’d have thought that in your tough time, even your Chacha is calling your precious necklace fake and is not wanting to help you. Today you know how to test jewellery and so you can tell the fake from the real yourself.”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. By being able to recognise the right from the wrong does your happiness increase? How? Give an example.
2. Explain through any one example when like Sohan’s Chacha, someone said something to you initially and you may have not liked it. But later you realised the value of what the person said?
(For example, your teacher insists on sports class, but you thought of skipping that class. Later you realised that sports would help you build stamina and health)
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
Day 2
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Summing up:
-----------------------------
Happiness is an inner state, a state of harmony, where there is alignment within and with the world outside. It's a state in which our thoughts and feelings are conflict-free, steady and positive. A state where we are in harmony with people around us and have sustained positive feelings. We like to be in such a state and strive for its continuity. Thus, we try to find happiness in the work we do and in our interaction with others, or the way others work and behave with us.
When we understand what we are reading, we feel happy. (When I am able to think clearly and find solutions, I feel happy. When I know my goals clearly I feel happy. When I am able to achieve what I want for example in exams or in sports, then too I feel happy.) Sometimes we feel happy while receiving something and sometimes in giving. We get happy if someone takes our troubles away but we also find happiness in making a sacrifice for others. There is happiness in victory and sometimes in defeat too. In all these situations, our feelings and thoughts are constantly driven by our motivation to do something good or right. Once, our inner state is aligned and conflict free, we feel fulfilled and have genuine feelings of trust and respect in relationships, that is the feeling of happiness.
In the Happiness Class, we will explore different ways in which we feel happy. We will understand what makes us happier or less happy; we will observe when is our happiness momentary and when is it long-lasting. We will also examine the two states of - ‘doing something to be happy’ or ‘ being happy within and then doing something’ and which of these two states is more desirable. We will also try to understand what aspects of happiness are universal and what aspects may vary from individual to individual. We look to explore and understand all these aspects in the Happiness Class, but in this chapter, we will first try to understand Happiness.
(Teachers are requested to read the paragraphs given above and understand the purpose of the Happiness Class. In the first chapter, we will discuss the following topics through various activities and stories.)
Section 1: Why do we need the Happiness Class?
Activity 1.1: Why do we need education?
Story 1.1: Alexander and Diogenes
Section 2: How much happiness is required? Is it required Sometimes or always? Required a Little or more?
Activity 2.1: How much happiness is needed?
Story 2.1: The Mind Palace
Activity 2.2: Being happy – sources and duration
Story 2.2: Rabia’s Needle
Section 3: What is Happiness?
Activity 3.1: When do we feel happy?
Activity 3.2: Why do we feel sad?
Story 3.1: What is real and what is fake?
Section 1: Why do we need the Happiness class?
For teacher’s reference:
Main message: Whatever we do in our lives, is driven by the pursuit to be happy.
- The objective of the stories and the activities of this section is to make the students (and ourselves) aware that all our thinking and doing is for us to be happy and thereafter stay happy.
- This pursuit is universal in nature, means, it is the same for every human being; be it a man or a woman, young or old, living in a village or in a city.
- Does anyone want to be unhappy? The answer is ‘no’.
- We are looking for happiness even in tough situations even while sacrificing something. For instance, a parent eats less to sees her/his child eat well, and can still feel contented.
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To make students reflect on the main purpose of education, which is, to be in a state of happiness. Also, to make students observe that whatever we do, we do for our happiness.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Note for teachers: Most of the students are not sure why do they need to study. Livelihood is considered as one of the biggest goals of education. But we can see, livelihood too is a medium to achieve a larger goal,which is, the well being or happiness of ourselves and of our near and dear ones. Thus, if learners can see that the eventual purpose of education is happiness, they will be more motivated and successful in whatever they do. The purpose of this Happiness Class is to make students aware of this goal and to show them the path to reach this very goal.
Steps of the activity
1. The teacher asks the students in the class, “Why do you need education? Why do you have to pass the exams? Why do you want to come first? Why do you want to earn money? Why do you want to win a medal in sports?”
2. Students think about these for a moment and write their answers in their notebooks. (Students can also discuss with their seat partners and seek each other’s help.)
3. The teacher encourages them to share their responses. He/she need not help the students in framing the answer but allow them to express their thoughts in their own words.
4. The teacher may capture the important ideas by writing them on the board. He/she may request a student from the class to assist him/her in this task.
5. It is important that all children must get an opportunity to share their thoughts with the class.
6. The teachers may motivate the students to think further by repeatedly asking ‘why’ for every answer.
- For instance, if a student says that he/she is studying to become an engineer, the teacher asks, “Why do you want to become an engineer?” The student can say, “For money,” then the teacher can ask, “Why money?”
- Or if a student wants to become a doctor, then the teacher can discuss how treating others will bring happiness to the student.
7. The teacher steers the discussion towards the aspect of happiness being the eventual goal (after which no further ‘why’ questions may be asked). All the discussion leading to the point that we do everything to be happy, or we all want to be happy. The teacher should keep asking questions till a point is arrived where the answer is "to be happy","I will get peace of mind" etc.
8. The teacher asks the students to give examples of things we do without thinking - whether these things bring us happiness or not. The examples can be personal or social, such as
a. Someone got hurt and you helped.
b. Someone was feeling cold and you gave him/her your blanket.
c. Why do we need a gift or anything?
9. The students will arrive at the same conclusion: that all our actions are in search of happiness; be it taking care of ourselves or helping others.
Note: If a student gives the answer in the beginning that whatever he/she does, he/she does it for happiness, the teacher may ask the student what he/she will do next and why. Else, the teacher may move the discussion forward by asking questions from other children.
Proposed questions for discussion
The teacher is now requested to write a message on the board - anything we do, we do it to be happy – and discuss with students. As the students speak, the teacher will note the points and comments.
- The teacher discusses with students whether anyone does anything to be sad or unhappy. In this discussion, students should be encouraged to give examples from their own lives, as one cannot be sure about the motives of others. Now the teacher discusses and analyses the examples given by students and leads the class to the conclusion that the ultimate desire behind every action is to find happiness.
- The teacher discusses with students how we all join school around the age of 3-4 years and spend the next 15-17 years in getting education, as we move from school to college and other institutions. We read, work hard, and pass many examinations. Have you thought about what is the purpose of all this? After all, by devoting so many years of your life, what do we want from education? ... Is it only about getting a job, only making money, only buying comforts or more than that? The teacher may discuss this openly with the students.
Dos and Don’ts
If students find it difficult to write complete sentences in the notebook, they may write key words only. For instance, instead of writing the whole sentence “I want to be a doctor”, they can just write, “Doctor”.
Story 1.1: Alexander and Diogenes
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To make the students realise that the basic purpose of our lives is to find long lasting and continuous happiness. Even though some people may look for happiness by indulging in wrong practices, others may be looking for happiness by doing the right thing.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Direction of discussions (For Teachers): The purpose of this story and the discussion at the end is to make students reflect on their behaviour in two different scenarios as:
a.when you do something to be happy
b.when you do something happily
When we end up doing something to be happy, we are constantly thinking of the next thing to ‘do’ to be happy. For example, I bought a new pair of clothes to feel happy. After buying the clothes, I again feel an emptiness and want to do something (such as, go out for a movie) or buy something else to feel happy again. This is not a steady (happy) state to be in. In fact, this state can make us restless. Our restlessness further reflects as impatience onto others.
Whereas, if I am happy and doing things - my inner state remains the same (steady), irrespective of the outcome. If my inner state is steady and reflects happiness, then my work and behaviour will also reflect happiness (and patience) onto others.
If the children are able to view their actions (work and behaviour) with regard to point b, they will be in control of their own happiness. They will not be disappointed, irritated or jealous; rather they will be filled with positivity and happiness.
Story
In ancient Greece, there lived a wise man, Diogenes. He was very famous, people came from far and wide to meet him. He always used to give people same advice,"If you do something to be happy, you will be disappointed when you don’t get what you want. However, if you do something when you are already happy, you will always be happy whether or not you get what you desire". Around this time, an emperor named Alexander, was waging wars around the world to fulfil his desire to conquer the world. Wherever he went, he started a war and enslaved people. Millions of people were killed in these wars. Once Alexander met Diogenes. Alexander told Diogenes with great arrogance, “I am Alexander the Great, and I want to conquer the whole world. I have heard that you are a great man. I can fulfil any wish you may have.” Diogenes asked, “Why are you fighting so many wars?” Alexander replied, “I want to conquer the whole world. Now only a few countries are left. Once I defeat them, I will sit and relax.” To this, Diogenes said, “You will not be happy even if you win the whole world, because the day you win the whole world, you will be sad thinking that there is nothing left to win now. Secondly, true happiness lies in uplifting humanity and not in bringing it down. So think about it, do you want to do something to be happy or you want to do something while you are happy?”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. In what ways was Alexander looking for happiness?
2. When Alexander went to another country,After enslaving or killing the people of that country, he felt that he would be very happy if he defeated that country in war. The teacher asks the students if they thought Alexander was right. (Do not tell the children what is right or wrong, but let them express their opinion. Just ask them to give reasons for assuming it to be right or wrong.) 3. Can someone who is happy perform an inappropriate act, such as exploiting or hurting others?
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
- Students discuss the story at home and understand the thoughts and views of their family members.
- Students find out - what are the things and actions that people are seeking happiness in.
Day 2
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Ask some students to recall the story.
- Some other students can share their storytelling experiences at home.
- The first day’s discussion questions can be used again for the remaining students who have not participated in anything.
1. Diogenes told Alexander that even if he won the whole world, he wouldn’t be happy. Why did he say that?
2. Discuss with children about the two possibilities -
- doing something with a happy state of mind
- doing something to achieve a happy state of mind
Ask them to give examples of both the states. The examples should be relatable to children, such as eating an ice cream to be happy or eating an ice cream because you are happy, wearing good clothes with a happy mind or trying to be happy by wearing good clothes, to help someone with a happy mind or to find happiness by helping someone. What is the difference between the two states?
3. Discuss with children if a person can be happy by being the richest man in the world. For this discussion, give examples of celebrities like Ratan Tata or Bill Gates who have donated their wealth for various social causes.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Dos and Don’ts
- Give everyone an opportunity to express themselves and listen to them patiently.
- Make sure that all the students participate in the discussion.
- Encourage and support the students who are hesitant to participate in the discussion.
For teacher’s reference:
We have now seen in Section 1 that everyone wants happiness.
- Our aim in this section is to enable students to identify and categorise their state of happiness as one of the three types. It should be clear to students that
- Happiness from goods / physical facilities is momentary.
- Happiness that comes from relationships is long-lasting.
- Happiness derived from understanding / clarity is continuous and forever.
- In this section, we will see how much happiness is required.
- Now that the children have understood that we need happiness, we should discuss how much happiness is needed.
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To make the students aware that we need happiness all the time and continuously.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Steps of the activity & Proposed questions of discussion
Discuss the following questions with the students:
- Do you want happiness once a week or every day?
- Do you want happiness for a few hours or every hour?
- Do you want happiness for a few minutes in an hour or every minute?
- Do you want happiness for a few seconds or each second?
- Do not give any answer to the students from your side, let the answers come from them. Some students may think that it is not possible to be continuously happy, that is why it is not possible to want happiness all the time.
- If this happens, you may ask them not to think of ‘is it possible to be happy continuously’ but introspect on their desire - ‘do I want to be unhappy even for a second’.
- Ask them how they feel when the flow of happiness breaks, even for a second. Do they not feel disappointed and stressed?
- Ask them if they would want disappointment and stress even for a second.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2:
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Briefly recall the previous day’s discussion and move forward in the following manner:
- Divide the students into small groups (of 5-6) and ask them to make a list of some items of daily use or actions we do every day.
- Ask them to write down in their notebook, a list of the things they like doing which makes them happy. (It would be good to give 5 minutes for this task.)
- Then, ask them to share their list and write the points on the board.
Proposed questions for discussion:
1. We like eating laddoos, does this mean we can eat them throughout the day?
2. We like to sleep on a comfortable bed, do we keep sleeping (and not get up at all)? Is that feasible?
3. We like to travel by car, should we keep sitting in the car always? Is it acceptable to us?
4. We like to sit under the fan or in the AC, can we always sit like that?
5. What if we are always glued to our computers?
6. We like watching movies, can we always keep watching them? Is it possible?
7. If we keep playing always, would we be happy? (Won't we be happy if we win, sad if we lose and tired and hungry after a while?)
8. Can we go on eating our favourite food? (Dont we like variety? We get bored with the same thing after a while. And if we keep eating it, after sometime it would become unbearable.)
In this manner, all the things listed by the children can be discussed.
Through the above questions, the students can see that though the happiness drawn from anything like food, music etc gives pleasure initially, it can become less enjoyable after a while and then painful with over usage. We do need material and physical things, but this happiness is short term in nature and does not bring us long lasting happiness. At the same time, we aspire for continuous happiness.
By now, it should have become clear to the students that our aspiration is for continuous happiness, and that cannot be fulfilled through physical facilities or material things alone.There are other sources of happiness which offer deeper and continuous happiness, as will see in the next few classes.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Story 2.1: The Mind Palace
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To bring the attention of the students towards the fact that long-lasting happiness is not found in physical facilities.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Direction of discussion (For Teachers): The purpose of telling this story and discussing the questions based on it is to help the students understand that to secure comforts and facilities and to enjoy them is not wrong, but dependency on them is a sign of weakness. A strong person is not the one who has a lot of comfort, or the one who has distanced himself from them. A strong person is indeed the one who does not become unhappy if physical facilities are reduced and keeps moving forward in their absence or scarcity. Or, a strong person is also the one who rightly utilises physical facilities and doesn’t think of over consumption but does rightful consumption. Such a person can have access to long term happiness.
Story
In a kingdom, a hermit was living under a tree for many days. The hermit was very renowned. People would come to meet him from far away. And so, even in the eyes of the king of this kingdom, he was an acclaimed hermit. One day, the king went to meet him. His conversation with the hermit deeply inspired the king and he requested the hermit to come to stay in his palace instead of living under the tree. The hermit agreed and said, “Wherever you will ask me to stay, I will.” The king was a little surprised. He thought that the hermit would say, “What would a hermit like me do in a palace?” But the hermit acted against the king’s expectation and was immediately ready to go with the king. The king was taken aback, but because he himself had proposed this, he had to take the hermit to the palace.
The king made all the comforts of the palace available to the hermit. Carpets were laid out, comfortable mattresses were provided for sleeping, and delicious food was served. The hermit began to use all of these facilities. The king thought, “What kind of a hermit is he? He didn’t even say once , ‘I’m a hermit, I do not sleep on the mattress, I sleep on the ground.’ He didn’t say even once that hermits do not need such delicious food. They eat very simple, plain food.”
After a few days passed by, the king asked him, “Maharaj, I have a doubt. I want to know if you were happier living under the tree or here in the palace amidst all the comforts.” The hermit told him, “What has happiness got to do with living in a palace or under a tree?” The king thought that probably the hermit had become accustomed to living in the palace. So he asked, “I live in a palace and now even you live in a palace. So what is the difference between a worldly person like me and a hermit like you?”
The hermit said, “If you want to understand the difference, come out of the palace with me.” The king went with him. When they reached quite far from the palace, the king asked the hermit to tell him the difference. The hermit said, “Let’s go a little further.” Now the sun was really hot and the king was getting increasingly uncomfortable. So he asked again, “Maharaj, please tell me now. We have come far away and have to go back to the palace too.” The hermit said, “See, you have known what it is to stay in a palace. Now stay with me and only then will you get the answer.” The king questioned him about how he could leave the palace, the kingdom and go with him.
And to this the hermit replied, “Here lies the difference between a worldly person and a hermit. When a worldly person moves out, there is a lot in his mind that stops him. But a hermit has nothing in his mind that can stop him from going ahead. When I was living under the tree, the tree was not inside me, that’s why I came to the palace with you. When I lived in the palace, then too, the palace wasn’t inside me, but it is inside you, and that is why it is stopping you.”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. In the story, the hermit asks the king – how is a palace related to happiness? Discuss this. Can one be happy always merely by getting a chance to live in a palace?
2. Is it possible for one person to live happily despite living in a simple house and another to be unhappy even in a palace?
3. Can all the comforts of a palace make a person happy if he/she is not happy within?
(Through the above questions, try to help the children understand that facilities are needed and we should have them but only physical facilities and comforts cannot make a person happy. For that, clarity within oneself, good happy relationships, love and respect in the family and in society are needed. One can’t be happy only with comforts, but if a person is really happy within, then he/she can be happy with less facilities too.)
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
- Students discuss the story at home and understand the thoughts and views of their family members.
- They observe that in the absence or reduction of any physical facility (vehicle, A.C., T.V.) at home, does everyone react with similar displeasure or is there a difference?
Day 2:
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Have some students recall the story. You may adopt various ways for helping the students recall, such as getting one of them to narrate the story, role-play, pairing the students and letting them tell each other, etc.
- Have them share the feedback received from their homes in small groups. Some students may be given the chance to share the experience at home in class.
- The first day’s discussion questions can be used again for the remaining students.
1. What are the facilities around us that, if we have to give up some of these, will it restrict our progress and growth?
2. What are the things that people possess, not because they need them but to show off?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Dos and Don’ts
- Give everyone an opportunity to express themselves and listen to them patiently.
- Make sure that all the students participate in the discussion.
- Encourage and support the students who are hesitant to participate in the discussion.
Activity 2.2: Being happy – from what and for how long?
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To help the students critically evaluate where they are searching for happiness and what kind of happiness are they receiving.
For teacher’s reference:
- Happiness from physical facilities is momentary.
- Happiness from relationships is long-lasting.
- Living with understanding brings continuous happiness.
Steps of the activity
1. The teacher divides the students into small groups.
2. The teacher asks the students in each group, to discuss and make a list of the things, relationships and incidents that make them happy. The teacher encourages the students to write as much as they want to.
3. After 5-7 minutes, the teacher asks the students to share their lists. As the students read their lists, the teacher writes the points on the board.
4. Now, to take the discussion further, the teacher makes three columns on the board:
A. Happiness from physical facilities.
B. Happiness from relationships
C. Happiness by understanding
5. As the students read out their lists, the teacher writes some of those examples in the appropriate column. Please see the following table for reference.
A.
Happiness
from physical facilities = When we derive happiness from physical facilities
or material things
|
B.
Happiness
from relationships = When we derive happiness from feelings of trust,
affection in our relationships with family, friends, colleagues, teachers,
etc.
|
C.
Happiness
from understanding = When we experience happiness from understanding (i.e.
clarity of) our needs, goals, etc.
|
Pen, Mobile etc.
|
Telling parents about the day at
school
|
Being able to take the right
decision in any circumstance
|
Ice cream
|
Playing with siblings
|
Being able to do any work in the
right manner
|
Chocolate
|
Studying with friends
|
Understanding any Math chapter like
Number System
|
Rajma-Chawal
|
Going out with family
|
Understanding the right ratio in
cooking
|
New Clothes
|
Spending time with parents
|
Having clarity about what one wants
to be in life
|
Cycle
|
No fights in family
|
Being able to take one’s own
decisions
|
6. The teacher completes this activity by sharing with them the following three kinds of happiness:
First – Happiness from Physical Facilities: when we enjoy physical facilities or seek happiness from sensory pleasures.
Second – Happiness from Relationships: when there are mutual feelings of trust, respect, care etc and we are happy in our relationships. This is what we call harmony or mutual fulfillment in relationships.
Third – Happiness from Understanding: when we have clarity about our needs (physical, emotional and psychological needs that are not in conflict with the other), our goal (goal of happiness that is common to everyone) and when we have a clear picture of harmony at all levels (individual, family and friends, society, nature), we call it Happiness from Understanding. Harmony in our thoughts, speech and action is a reflection of our Understanding.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2:
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. The teacher writes the main points of the previous class on the blackboard once more and makes the same table.
2. Students examine the table in depth.
A.
Physical
Facilities = Happiness
|
B.
Good
Relationships = Happiness
|
C.
Understanding
= Happiness
|
D.
Gift Gift
E.
F.
New
Things
G.
H.
New
Book
I.
J.
New
Shoes etc.
|
K.
Conversations
with siblings and friends
L.
M.
Playing
with siblings and friends
N.
O.
Family
or friends understanding our feelings
|
P.
Understanding
the meaning of a word
Q.
R.
Understanding
a Science or Math formula
S.
T.
Taking
the right decision amid confusion
U.
V.
Resolving
a fight wisely.
W.
X.
Y.
Understanding
one’s parents economic condition etc.
|
Proposed questions for discussion:
1. What is the difference among these three kinds of happiness?
2. Is there a difference in their lasting value? Which happiness would last for how long?
3. From the above three columns, which happiness is –
a. momentary?
b. long-lasting?
c. continuous and forever?
4. Where have you been looking for happiness till now?
5. Does the happiness you obtain that way stay for a long time or do you have to look for or do something else to become happy again?
6. Based on the above discussion, for each column ask the students which of these kinds of happiness would stay for longer. Ask the students if the following is right:
A. Happiness from physical facilities = Momentary Happiness
B. Happiness from relationships = Long-lasting Happiness
C. Happiness from understanding = Continuous Happiness
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Note for teachers:
Happiness from physical facilities = momentary happiness. The children might say that some physical facilities give momentary happiness and some give long-lasting happiness. Like, the happiness of eating chocolate is momentary but the one gained from new clothes or a new cycle etc. can last much longer, perhaps even for a few years. So the children may question why these aren’t included in long-lasting happiness?
It can be shared with the students that the happiness derived from any physical facility lasts till the time it is new, novel or intact. As soon as there is a newer model or a more attractive physical facility with someone else, happiness from that physical facility begins to reduce. Similarly, the happiness can disappear if the physical facility is destroyed.
Happiness from relationships = deeper (long-lasting) happiness. This can be a bit confusing so it should be communicated clearly. Some students might say that the happiness derived from relationships can also be continuous happiness. The students are right in their thinking, but make it clear to them that happiness from relationships is continuous when we are always happy with the behaviour of the person concerned with the relationship. Till the time the person behaves as per our expectation, we are happy, but as soon as he/she talks or acts against our belief or wish, our happiness vanishes. As compared to happiness from physical facilities, this one is longer lasting, thus may seem continuous, but in reality, this is derived out of behaviour of another person, which is not continuous.
Similarly, happiness from understanding = continuous happiness. Explain to the students that the process of understanding itself gives happiness and when we are able to understand something, that understanding stays with us forever. Like, if we understand that 2+2=4 once, we will remember it forever. Water quenches thirst, and fire hurts. If this understanding is developed once, it always stays. This can be understood with one more logic. If we understand the financial condition of our parents once, it won’t bother us that they may not be spending as much on us as other parents spend on their children. Eventually, if we are able to understand our purpose in life, understand and resolve our daily conflicts, understand how to live better in relations, in society, this understanding leads to continuous happiness.
In this way, through this activity, we understand that whenever we derive happiness externally through physical facilities, it is momentary. But when we are happy because of the right feelings and understanding (of harmony),the happiness stays with us for longer.
We will try to understand this in greater depth through a story …
Story 2.2: Rabia’s Needle
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To make the students realise that deeper (long-lasting) happiness can be understood and experienced within ourselves and is not just based on events outside or on material things.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Story
The people of a village were always busy criticising each other. This was a huge reason for their sorrow. In this village, lived a saintly lady called Rabia. She would always adopt new ways of helping the villagers to see sense.
One evening, she was looking for something in front of her house. Passers-by saw her searching for something and asked, “What have you lost?” Rabia answered, “My needle has fallen.” These people thought that the old lady had poor eyesight and so they should help her. They too began to look for the needle. Then, one of them thought that the needle is a tiny object and till it is not known exactly where it had fallen, it would be difficult to look for it on such a wide road? The person asked Rabia, “Maaji, please tell us where exactly your needle had fallen.” Rabia said, “The needle had fallen inside the house.”
Upon listening to her answer, the villagers were taken aback and began to wonder if the old lady had become senile. If the needle had fallen inside the house then why was she looking for it outside? When Rabia was asked about this, she said, “Even I know this, but it is dark inside, and there is light only outside. How do I look for the needle in darkness? It can only be found in the light.”
The villagers started laughing. They started telling Rabia, “Looks like age has impacted your understanding. Even if there is no light outside the house, the needle will have to be searched for outside only.”
Now, it was Rabia’s turn to laugh. She said, “Beta, you are talking about being sensible, but I’m following the method I see all of you adopting.” The villagers were taken aback and asked, “What do you mean?” Rabia continued, “Every day I see you criticising each other. In reality, you are all looking for happiness in each other and when you don’t get it, you criticise the other person. While long lasting happiness is actually within you. You look for it in others’ behaviour, in their gifts, in the favours you receive from them, in the compliments you get and in the work others do for you, while your happiness is actually lost somewhere in your mind. Look for happiness where it can be found.”
The villagers understood that Rabia was pretending to look for the needle to make them understand,' the true meaning of happiness'.
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion:
1. Do you also look for happiness outside (in physical things, in criticising others) like the villagers? How?
2. Take an example from your life – have you criticised your friends or relatives in front of someone? If yes, what was the reason behind that criticism?
3. Why does it happen often that people seem to be happy when they criticise others? (as they are able to prove the other one wrong at that point of time)
4. Are those who criticise others looking for happiness in the other person (that is, by putting down the other person) or in themselves?
5. Is it possible that those who criticise others may get the ability to look for happiness within themselves?
Note for teacher: The purpose of the above questions is to get the students to reflect and examine their thoughts and to be able to share their thoughts openly. If the students are able to understand that deeper (long lasting) happiness comes from living in harmonious relationships and clarity of thought (on how to get there) leads to continuous happiness, then their confidence will peak, and instead of feeling jealous of others’ success, they will focus on their own growth. While discussing these questions, try that each student is able to reflect and introspect and put his/her point forward. It takes courage to give an example from one’s own life, so take good care that while a student’s sharing – someone else should not make fun of what they’re saying, else the student will feel disheartened. Ensure that the entire class pays full attention to what the child is sharing and when required, the class should encourage the child instead of making fun. If required, to help the children get over any inhibition, the teacher may give an example from his/her own life.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2:
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Have some students repeat the story.
- The first day’s discussion questions can be used for rethinking.
- The students can share their storytelling experiences at home in small groups. Some thoughts can be shared with the whole class.
1. How can you find or identify deeper (long lasting) happiness within you? (Clue: With the right feelings in relationships, with positive thinking, with clarity in thoughts)
2. What is the difference between ‘being happy’ and ‘looking happy’? In our everyday life, where does our attention go? What do we find more important? Discuss.
3. If you do something well but there is no one to see it, how would you feel? Does this impact your capability? Discuss.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
In the next section, let’s explore more on what is happiness.
Section 3: What is Happiness?
For teacher’s reference:
● We have now seen in Section 2 that whatever we do, we do for happiness. And we also want to be in a state of continuous happiness. Momentary Happiness can be drawn from sources outside and deeper happiness can be understood inside us.
● We want to be happy, but how do we ensure we can be happy?
● Everyone wants happiness, but is not clear about what happiness is.
● Even if we discuss what happiness is with family and friends, everyone will have different thoughts.
● ‘What is happiness?’ Without knowing this clearly it is not possible to be happy.
● In this section, we will build clarity among students about what is happiness.
● By the end of the section, it would be clear to the students that everyone aims for happiness, and what are the ways of attaining long lasting and continuous happiness.
With the help of an activity, we will try to recognise when we feel happy.
Activity 3.1: When do we feel happy?
Time: 1-2 periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To help the students understand that we are happy when our needs are fulfilled.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Steps of the Activity
- Firstly, the teacher shares those moments from his/her life which give him/her immense happiness every time she/he remembers them.
- Now the teacher asks the students, “When are we happy? Think of some incidents from your life.” For example –
- When we’ve eaten your favourite food.
- When our friends helped us with homework.
- When we received applause from our teacher.
- When we went to our ancestral village and met our family members.
- When we were promoted to the next class.
- The teacher divides the students into smaller groups (of 5-6 each) and ask them to share their own incidents.
- The teacher asks some students to share their inspirational and happy incidents in class.
- The teacher writes the students’ answers on the blackboard.
- The teacher writes all answers on the board and then asks the students to recall the earlier list and ask them about their feelings after reading these examples. Why did they experience happiness in these moments? An answer to ‘what is happiness’ can be found in this discussion.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Dos & Don’ts:
- Ensure that the class environment is happy and uninhibited.
- Encourage the students to share their incidents but in the beginning do not force the students who are feeling uneasy in sharing.
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To enable the students to understand that:
1. When they feel upset, somewhere their need isn’t being fulfilled.
2. They are able to examine that unfulfillment of their need is the reason for their sadness.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Steps of the Activity
The teacher talks to all the students for 2-4 minutes and creates an environment where they would be able to share even those incidents from their daily life where they find themselves unhappy. Make the different situations of unhappiness a part of this discussion, such as, feeling disturbed, upset, worried, sad, etc. After a 2-4 minute discussion, encourage the students to write a few examples from the past few days in their notebooks when they were upset.
Examples of incidents:
- When my father scolded me.
- When my teacher gave someone else a chance to go on the stage instead of me.
- When I had a fight with my sister/brother.
- When I was really hungry but there was no food near me.
- When I got injured.
- When I got less marks in exams.
- When I lost something.
- When I didn’t know the answer to a question.
- Now ask the students to read that list. Alongside, write it on the blackboard. Ask the students to not repeat the points that have already been mentioned.
- In this list, circle the things that are concerned with any physical facility or comfort. (such as not finding a seat in the bus, losing one’s pencil etc.)
- From the remaining points on the list, underline the aspects which are related to sadness out of a problem in relationships. (such as being scolded, not being given a chance, getting angry, getting jealous, experiencing fear etc.)
- Now among the remaining elements, mark the unhappiness that comes out of lack of understanding. (such as not knowing the answer to a question, less marks in exams, unable to understand why I am upset, unsure of the future, etc.)
- If there is still something remaining on the list, it would be good to re-examine and see if it falls into one of the above three categories.
- It’s possible that something may fall into more than one category. (such as less marks in exams is an outcome of lack of understanding, but it also upsets one’s parents which is related to relationship-oriented unhappiness.) Make a note of those as well.
1. There are three reasons for our unhappiness. Lack of things, lack of feelings and lack of understanding. Do you agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
2. What do you think is the reason for more unhappiness – lack of things, lack of feelings in relationships or lack of understanding? Discuss.
3. How long does the unhappiness from lack of things last? Explain with examples. (Clue: Till the physical facility is not gained.)
4. How long does the unhappiness from relationships last? Explain with examples. (Clue: Till the relationship is not harmonious.)
5. How long does the unhappiness from understanding last? Explain with an example. (Answer: Till we are unable to understand.)
6. What is the way out of these kinds of unhappiness?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Story 3.1: What is real and what is fake?
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To draw the attention of the students towards taking right decisions while maintaining harmonious relationships even in difficult times.
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Story
After Sohan’s father passed away, his family was reeling under a financial crisis. Sohan’s mother gave him her necklace and asked him to sell it at his Chacha’s shop. Sohan’s Chacha was a goldsmith. When Sohan showed the necklace to his Chacha, he examined the necklace and told Sohan, “The market is in a slump right now; sell it after a while.” Sohan was disappointed on hearing this but then his Chacha said, “You can work at my shop. In any case, I need a dependable assistant here.”
Sohan started learning work at the shop the very next day. He was taught to test diamonds and other precious stones. Gradually, he learnt how to test precious stones. After a few months, his Chacha said to him, “Now you may bring the necklace that you wanted to sell.”
When Sohan reached home and took the necklace from his mother, he realised it was fake! He ran to his Chacha’s shop and asked him, “Why didn’t you tell me the truth when I came to sell the necklace months ago.” On this, his Chacha said, “If at that time I’d have told you the truth, you’d have thought that in your tough time, even your Chacha is calling your precious necklace fake and is not wanting to help you. Today you know how to test jewellery and so you can tell the fake from the real yourself.”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. By being able to recognise the right from the wrong does your happiness increase? How? Give an example.
2. Explain through any one example when like Sohan’s Chacha, someone said something to you initially and you may have not liked it. But later you realised the value of what the person said?
(For example, your teacher insists on sports class, but you thought of skipping that class. Later you realised that sports would help you build stamina and health)
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
- Students discuss the story at home and understand the thoughts and views of their family members.
- Students discuss with their family members if they have experienced a situation like this in their relationships.
Day 2
Start the class by mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Have some students repeat the story.
- Some other students can share their storytelling experiences at home.
- The first day’s discussion questions can be used again for the remaining students.
- If in a situation, you have to choose between gaining a material thing and gaining a relationship, what would you choose and why?
- Sohan’s Chacha didn't give him money but taught him how to distinguish between the real and the fake. Share an example from your life where you were happy because you got the wisdom to tell the right from the wrong.
Summing up:
- Happiness is an internal state.
- Whatever we do, we do it for happiness.
- We try to search for happiness in the following ways –
- Through physical facilities
- Through relationships
- Through understanding
- We like physical facilities but we gain only momentary happiness from them.
- The happiness from relationships is long-lasting. Feelings experienced in a relationship last for a longer time as compared to happiness experienced in acquiring or consuming a physical facility.
- The happiness from understanding is continuous and forever.
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- Chapter 1: Understanding Happiness
- Chapter 2: Need
- Chapter 3: Needs of the Self
- Chapter 4: Trust and Confidence
- Chapter 5: Identifying Commonness
- Chapter 6: Sensible person = happy person
- Chapter 7: Happy Family
- Chapter 8: A Happy Society
- Chapter 9: Nature and Space
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