For teacher’s reference
In the previous chapter, we learnt
So, with confidence in the Self, we can do our work effortlessly and live life in a relaxed manner. Our will power increases. Confidence in the self is essential for our mind and also for maintaining harmony in living our relationships. In this chapter, we will discuss confidence in Self and trust in relationships.
Section 1: Trust in Oneself
Activity 1.1: Understanding trust in ourselves
Activity 1.2: Need for trust - Permanent or occasional ?
Story 1.1: Arunima Sinha
Section 2: Trust in Relationships
Activity 2.1: Trust in Relationships
Activity 2.2: Intention and Competence
Section 1: Trust in Oneself
For teacher’s reference
Trust is one of our most crucial needs. In all that we do, our trust in ourselves plays a big role. How we complete any task, how successfully, how skilfully or efficiently, all this depends on how much we trust ourselves. The way we complete any task or handle a situation depends on our trust in ourselves.
Trust towards ourselves or trust on self is also called self-confidence. In this chapter, we will cover this topic.
Activity: 1.1: Understanding trust in ourselves
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning Objective: To make students learn the importance of trust in oneself.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Day 1
Note for the teacher
Trust in oneself is known as self-confidence. Self-confidence is one of the greatest achievements of one’s life. We often mistakenly aspire for power, money and fame to compensate for the lack of confidence within. In reality, we become happy only if we can get rid of lack of self-confidence.
In this activity, we will understand and discuss how our happiness depends on our trust on ourselves, our self-confidence.
Steps of the activity
Before talking about trust in oneself it would be good to discuss the idea of trust with the students.
1. What do you understand by trust?
2. When do you experience trust within?
(Note: Repeat the question properly. Our purpose is to help the students reflect within and share when they feel trustful.)
3. When do you have confidence in yourself?
(The above question is similar to the previous one, but being asked in a different way - this may help the students in understanding it better.)
(They can have other answers too.)
We are trustful when –
1. Someone trusts us or does not doubt us.
2. When we have the solution to a problem.
3. When we are confident of being right.
4. When there is mutual affection.
5. When others accept us or praise us.
6. When we know others are with us.
7. When we are able to do something properly or complete it.
8. When there is a sense of surety about something and we feel that we have understood something as it is.
9. When others trust us.
10. When we have facilities and material things.
11. When we feel we have more than the others, in those moments we feel confident.
12. When we feel some incompleteness within but feel that despite the deficiency or flaw, we will be able to complete our task properly.
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Till now, what we thought of as trust is either a skill or a physical facility/convenience. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
2. When we have the solution to a problem or if we are able to do something right then our self confidence increases. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
3. When we compare ourselves with others and find ourselves better in any field (beauty, position, money, strength) we feel more self confident. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
4. When others praise us or when we have more physical facilities/material resources than the others, our self confidence increases. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
Note: Examine the examples given by the children and arrive at a conclusion how trust or confidence comes to the fore in the following three forms:
1. The trust within. For example, when we have the solution to a problem or we are able to do something properly.
2. Finding ourselves better in comparison with others. There will be many examples to support this idea (e.g., a student securing highest marks in the class, or someone having better clothes or salary than others)
3. The fulfilment of ego, by receiving praise from others. (e.g., a student securing highest marks in the class, or someone having better clothes or salary than others gets praised by others on these points)
The students should discuss the above examples at home and with friends.
Ask them to also discuss the following –
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
As the students would have discussed the aforesaid points with their family and friends, now discuss the following with them:
Proposed questions for discussion
1. All our confidence depends on our skills. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
2. The confidence coming from skills cannot be permanent. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
3. The feeling of confidence which we get by comparison with others is also not permanent. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
4. The confidence that comes from getting influenced by others’ behaviour too is not permanent. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
5. We feel that our confidence would increase when we get things which are owned by our friend or relative. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
Note: By and large, we can say that what we are calling trust is –
Activity 1.2: Need for trust - Permanent or occasional?
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To enable students to understand permanent trust, and its relation to happy life.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Note for the teacher: We all want trust. We cannot do without it. The question is do we want permanent trust or only at times ? The answer is we certainly want permanent trust. But, we don’t have examples and correct understanding of permanent trust in our lives. In all our achievements, our comforts, our material possessions, our relationships -- we do not have permanent trust. In this activity, we will discuss permanent trust.
Steps of the activity
Ask the students the following –
1. In which situation do we lack confidence? Give some examples of situations where we lack confidence in our seleve.
2. What are the things we are scared to do because we lack the confidence to do them?
3. If we are constantly influenced by others’ point of view, it indicates a lack of clarity and trust. Discuss.
4. What is the difference between trust and skill? Discuss.
5. What have we put more effort in? Permanent trust or temporary trust?
6. What is all our hard work for? Fulfilment of ego or permanent trust?
Note: Forms of trust –
Encourage the students to discuss the following with their family. Like –
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. Discuss with students that everyone has an idea of permanent trust, like –
Proposed questions for discussion
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
Students should practice mindfulness at a convenient time at home and think –
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Story 1.1: Arunima Sinha
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To enable the students to focus on the trust within them and on physical strength and power of mind.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Direction of Discussion (For Teachers): It is often seen that some people lack physical strength yet are able to not only manage all their daily physical needs, but also go on to achieve much higher accomplishments with their mental power. We have examples like Helen Keller, Stephen Hawking and Sudha Chandran. On the contrary, there are many other people who are more physically fit and yet easily get very worried. These people have very low self-confidence.
Through this story and its questions, attention of the students would be drawn to the power of the mind, so that it becomes clear to them that the physical power and power of mind are two different realities. With this, each student would see the possibility of cultivating their power of mind and aiming high in their lives on that basis even if physical strength and capabilities may vary widely among the students.
Story
Arunima Sinha belongs to Ambedkar Nagar in Uttar Pradesh and has been working in the Central Industrial Security Force (CISF) since 2012. She’s also been a national-level volleyball player. In April 2011, when she was travelling from Lucknow to Delhi, somewhere near Bareilly some people tried to snatch her bag and gold chain. Arunima gave them a tough fight but she was pushed out of the train and lost a leg.
After this incident, she did not want to live a life of helplessness. She decided to scale the heights of Mount Everest. The television show “To Do Something” fueled her passion. She was also deeply inspired by cricketer Yuvraj Singh who defeated a disease like cancer and was back on the field for his country. Mountaineer Bachendri Pal told her, “Arunima, against all odds you’ve so firmly decided to climb Everest, you’re already there. Now the only thing left is to show it to people.”
Arunima showed exemplary courage despite the physical handicap and tough conditions. On May 21, 2013, she climbed to the top of the highest mountain peak in the world and created history. Arunima’s determination did not let her stop at this feat. She climbed to the top of the highest mountain peaks of all seven continents. The first woman amputee to do so, Arunima is the pride of our country and her record has become an inspiration for everyone.
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Do we require just physical strength to complete a task or we also need mental strength ? Discuss.
2. Do we always need another person to increase our mental strength or can we increase our mental strength ourselves too? Discuss.
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. Everyone has infinite mental capability to think and understand but despite this, not everyone is able to achieve higher accomplishments. Why ?
2. Despite being strong physically, why are some people unable to achieve higher accomplishments ?
3. What have you thought to achieve with your mental power ? Share in class.
4. Some people get anxious with a slight change in their circumstances while some others achieve success even in very adverse circumstances. What can be the reason for this? Discuss.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
For teacher’s reference
Money and material things are not the basis of affection and trust in human relationships. The reason is clear – when a relation is understood, money takes a backseat. When trust lacks in a relationship, money becomes important. We try to make up for the gap in a relationship through money. Where there’s a relationship, and mutual trust, money does not matter. Whether a family is rich or poor, all parents try to provide the best for their children to their financial capacity. We will try to understand the trust in relationships through an activity.
Activity 2.1: Trust in Relationships
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: Students should be able to understand trust in relationships through understanding trust in themselves.
Steps of the activity:
The teacher should discuss the following questions with the students:
1. Make a list of the relatives and friends with whom the relationship is based on money or comfort.
2. Make another list where the relationship is not based on money or any comfort but something else. Also mention the basis of this relationship.
3. Do you feel more satisfied when you meet people from the first list, or the second one? Share the reason.
4. Which from the two lists are the more lasting relationships? Why?
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Is the basis of a relationship trust or money? Discuss.
2. Can we say that the families who spend more on their children have better relationships with them? Discuss.
3. Can we say by making more money and comforts available the families will have better relationships with the children in the future? Discuss.
4. Family relationships are not based on money. How? Discuss.
5. Money is needed to fulfil our physical needs, but it is not needed to keep relations strong. How? Discuss.
6. We don’t make friends based on their looks, skin tone, money or status. We see their behaviour and thought process. Agree/disagree? Discuss.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Note for teacher: Most of us have not experienced a single relationship that gives us continuous fulfilment all the time. We have assumed ups and downs in relationships as natural. Not a single relationship is free of complaints. In common parlance we say, “Utensils kept together will clang.” This is actually an excuse to cover our incompetence. All our knowledge falls flat here. We begin to bear the weight of our relationships. A huge reason for this misery is our lack of confidence in ourselves leading to lack of trust in relationships.
Activity 2.2: Intention and Competence
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To enable students to understand the difference between intention and competence, and to encourage them to increase their competence according to their intention (what they want, or basic aspiration).
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Day 1
Note for the teacher: There is a difference in our intention (what we want, our basic aspiration) and our competence (what we can do). That is why, there is a difference in what we say and what we do. If we understand that just like us, others too have a difference between their intention and competence, we would be able to understand their feelings better and our relationships would not fall apart.
Our basic aspiration is to live with a feeling of continuous happiness. At the same time, our intention is to keep others around us happy by our actions and behaviour. However, most of us are neither able to live with continuous happiness ourselves, nor are we able to keep others around us happy. This is because we lack competence for this.
Steps of the activity
Proposed questions for discussion
What is the difference between intention and competence? Explain with an example.
Note to the teacher
Section A – Intention: What we want to actually be (our basic aspiration)
Section B – Competence: What we currently are
We all intend to live with a feeling of continuous happiness. Similarly, we also wish to keep others happy. But we are not able to do so because our competence to do so is missing.
For example, someone may not know how to drive but wants to be a good driver. To meet this intention, he would have to know traffic rules, the way a car operates, and practise with someone who knows how to drive a car. By understanding and continuous practice, the competence to drive will come and the person would be able to drive properly. Hence, just by having the intention, work is not completed; one has to develop competence for it.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Dos and Don’ts
In the previous chapter, we learnt
- Material show off does feed our ego but does not increase our trust in ourselves.
- Happiness is the need of the Self. We don’t find happiness by feeding our ego, on the contrary we become more insecure by doing this.
So, with confidence in the Self, we can do our work effortlessly and live life in a relaxed manner. Our will power increases. Confidence in the self is essential for our mind and also for maintaining harmony in living our relationships. In this chapter, we will discuss confidence in Self and trust in relationships.
Section 1: Trust in Oneself
Activity 1.1: Understanding trust in ourselves
Activity 1.2: Need for trust - Permanent or occasional ?
Story 1.1: Arunima Sinha
Section 2: Trust in Relationships
Activity 2.1: Trust in Relationships
Activity 2.2: Intention and Competence
Section 1: Trust in Oneself
For teacher’s reference
Trust is one of our most crucial needs. In all that we do, our trust in ourselves plays a big role. How we complete any task, how successfully, how skilfully or efficiently, all this depends on how much we trust ourselves. The way we complete any task or handle a situation depends on our trust in ourselves.
Trust towards ourselves or trust on self is also called self-confidence. In this chapter, we will cover this topic.
Activity: 1.1: Understanding trust in ourselves
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning Objective: To make students learn the importance of trust in oneself.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Day 1
Note for the teacher
Trust in oneself is known as self-confidence. Self-confidence is one of the greatest achievements of one’s life. We often mistakenly aspire for power, money and fame to compensate for the lack of confidence within. In reality, we become happy only if we can get rid of lack of self-confidence.
In this activity, we will understand and discuss how our happiness depends on our trust on ourselves, our self-confidence.
Steps of the activity
Before talking about trust in oneself it would be good to discuss the idea of trust with the students.
1. What do you understand by trust?
2. When do you experience trust within?
(Note: Repeat the question properly. Our purpose is to help the students reflect within and share when they feel trustful.)
3. When do you have confidence in yourself?
(The above question is similar to the previous one, but being asked in a different way - this may help the students in understanding it better.)
- The answers given by the students may be listed out on the board.
- If a student is not able to answer on his/her own, help the student to try and find the answer exploring within. Keep on repeating the question preferably until the students get at least 10-12 points in response to the question.
(They can have other answers too.)
We are trustful when –
1. Someone trusts us or does not doubt us.
2. When we have the solution to a problem.
3. When we are confident of being right.
4. When there is mutual affection.
5. When others accept us or praise us.
6. When we know others are with us.
7. When we are able to do something properly or complete it.
8. When there is a sense of surety about something and we feel that we have understood something as it is.
9. When others trust us.
10. When we have facilities and material things.
11. When we feel we have more than the others, in those moments we feel confident.
12. When we feel some incompleteness within but feel that despite the deficiency or flaw, we will be able to complete our task properly.
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Till now, what we thought of as trust is either a skill or a physical facility/convenience. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
2. When we have the solution to a problem or if we are able to do something right then our self confidence increases. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
3. When we compare ourselves with others and find ourselves better in any field (beauty, position, money, strength) we feel more self confident. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
4. When others praise us or when we have more physical facilities/material resources than the others, our self confidence increases. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
Note: Examine the examples given by the children and arrive at a conclusion how trust or confidence comes to the fore in the following three forms:
1. The trust within. For example, when we have the solution to a problem or we are able to do something properly.
2. Finding ourselves better in comparison with others. There will be many examples to support this idea (e.g., a student securing highest marks in the class, or someone having better clothes or salary than others)
3. The fulfilment of ego, by receiving praise from others. (e.g., a student securing highest marks in the class, or someone having better clothes or salary than others gets praised by others on these points)
The students should discuss the above examples at home and with friends.
Ask them to also discuss the following –
- In which of these situations does the feeling of trust appear to be permanent?
- In which situation does the feeling of trust appear to be temporary?
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
As the students would have discussed the aforesaid points with their family and friends, now discuss the following with them:
- Whom did you discuss with?
- How did they find your questions?
- What were the answers received?
Proposed questions for discussion
1. All our confidence depends on our skills. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
2. The confidence coming from skills cannot be permanent. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
3. The feeling of confidence which we get by comparison with others is also not permanent. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
4. The confidence that comes from getting influenced by others’ behaviour too is not permanent. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
5. We feel that our confidence would increase when we get things which are owned by our friend or relative. Agree/disagree? How? Discuss.
Note: By and large, we can say that what we are calling trust is –
- either by clarity of thought or by acquiring a skill – for example, speaking a language fluently, being good at Mathematics, solving a Science problem etc.
- comparing ourselves with others and finding ourselves better on the basis of that comparison. In other words, this is what we think about ourselves in comparison to others.
- the impact of others’ behaviour. In other words, this is what others think about us. If they think we are doing good, or we are good, we feel happy and gain confidence. If others think we have not done good, or we are not good, we feel unhappy.
Activity 1.2: Need for trust - Permanent or occasional?
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To enable students to understand permanent trust, and its relation to happy life.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Note for the teacher: We all want trust. We cannot do without it. The question is do we want permanent trust or only at times ? The answer is we certainly want permanent trust. But, we don’t have examples and correct understanding of permanent trust in our lives. In all our achievements, our comforts, our material possessions, our relationships -- we do not have permanent trust. In this activity, we will discuss permanent trust.
Steps of the activity
Ask the students the following –
- Are they able to share their point of view openly with their parents? If they are unable to do so, what does that indicate? (Answer: Lack of trust)
- If parents doubt their children, what does it mean? (Answer: Lack of trust)
- If a person asks for a bribe to run his house, despite getting a salary, what does it mean? (Answer: He lacks trust – he doesn’t trust himself for managing with his salary.)
- Similarly, if a person gives bribe in a government office, what reason does it indicate? (Answer: This is also a lack of trust, because he is not sure about being righteous or thinks that his work cannot be done without paying a bribe.)
- 2+2=4 – this is a universal truth. If someone believes this and if someone else insists that two and two is five, would the trust be challenged? (Note for the teacher: If one is impacted by what the other is saying, it means he/she lacks confidence.)
1. In which situation do we lack confidence? Give some examples of situations where we lack confidence in our seleve.
2. What are the things we are scared to do because we lack the confidence to do them?
3. If we are constantly influenced by others’ point of view, it indicates a lack of clarity and trust. Discuss.
4. What is the difference between trust and skill? Discuss.
5. What have we put more effort in? Permanent trust or temporary trust?
6. What is all our hard work for? Fulfilment of ego or permanent trust?
Note: Forms of trust –
- Trust within (Confidence in the Self)
- Trust with reference to others
- Ego
Encourage the students to discuss the following with their family. Like –
- What do we mean by permanent trust?
- Do your parents have permanent trust on you?
- Do children around you have permanent trust?
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. Discuss with students that everyone has an idea of permanent trust, like –
- When our material needs are fulfilled: Ask them to think of themselves in this situation, “I require two shirts and two pants. If I get them, I feel confident. I want a car, if I get it, I will feel good. I seek admission in a college, if I get it, I feel good. I need a good job, when I get it, I feel good.”
- All this is temporary. As all these are accomplished one by one, newer and newer issues come up.
Proposed questions for discussion
- How do I recognise whether I have permanent trust or not? How do I get this clarity ?
- How do I recognise I lack self-confidence ?
- How many of us live with past regrets?
- In these 13-14 years of life, did something happen, the memory of which causes discomfort? Who was behind this memory? Were these people known to us, or unknown?
- How many of us live with resistance towards the present?
- What are our insecurities relating to the future?
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
Students should practice mindfulness at a convenient time at home and think –
- What are my past regrets?
- What am I struggling with, in the present?
- What are my future worries?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Story 1.1: Arunima Sinha
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied
Learning objective: To enable the students to focus on the trust within them and on physical strength and power of mind.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Direction of Discussion (For Teachers): It is often seen that some people lack physical strength yet are able to not only manage all their daily physical needs, but also go on to achieve much higher accomplishments with their mental power. We have examples like Helen Keller, Stephen Hawking and Sudha Chandran. On the contrary, there are many other people who are more physically fit and yet easily get very worried. These people have very low self-confidence.
Through this story and its questions, attention of the students would be drawn to the power of the mind, so that it becomes clear to them that the physical power and power of mind are two different realities. With this, each student would see the possibility of cultivating their power of mind and aiming high in their lives on that basis even if physical strength and capabilities may vary widely among the students.
Story
Arunima Sinha belongs to Ambedkar Nagar in Uttar Pradesh and has been working in the Central Industrial Security Force (CISF) since 2012. She’s also been a national-level volleyball player. In April 2011, when she was travelling from Lucknow to Delhi, somewhere near Bareilly some people tried to snatch her bag and gold chain. Arunima gave them a tough fight but she was pushed out of the train and lost a leg.
After this incident, she did not want to live a life of helplessness. She decided to scale the heights of Mount Everest. The television show “To Do Something” fueled her passion. She was also deeply inspired by cricketer Yuvraj Singh who defeated a disease like cancer and was back on the field for his country. Mountaineer Bachendri Pal told her, “Arunima, against all odds you’ve so firmly decided to climb Everest, you’re already there. Now the only thing left is to show it to people.”
Arunima showed exemplary courage despite the physical handicap and tough conditions. On May 21, 2013, she climbed to the top of the highest mountain peak in the world and created history. Arunima’s determination did not let her stop at this feat. She climbed to the top of the highest mountain peaks of all seven continents. The first woman amputee to do so, Arunima is the pride of our country and her record has become an inspiration for everyone.
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Do we require just physical strength to complete a task or we also need mental strength ? Discuss.
2. Do we always need another person to increase our mental strength or can we increase our mental strength ourselves too? Discuss.
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
- Students should discuss the story at home and understand the thoughts and views of their family members.
- Students should collect information about people with disabilities who have defeated all odds and achieved what most people won’t dare to try. They should share this information in class.
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Have some students recall the story. You may adopt various ways for helping the students recall it, like, getting one of them to narrate the story, role-play, pairing the students and letting them tell each other etc.
- Have them share the feedback received from their homes in small groups. Some students can share their thoughts with the entire class.
- The first day’s discussion questions can be used again for the remaining students.
1. Everyone has infinite mental capability to think and understand but despite this, not everyone is able to achieve higher accomplishments. Why ?
2. Despite being strong physically, why are some people unable to achieve higher accomplishments ?
3. What have you thought to achieve with your mental power ? Share in class.
4. Some people get anxious with a slight change in their circumstances while some others achieve success even in very adverse circumstances. What can be the reason for this? Discuss.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Section 2: Trust in Relationships
For teacher’s reference
Money and material things are not the basis of affection and trust in human relationships. The reason is clear – when a relation is understood, money takes a backseat. When trust lacks in a relationship, money becomes important. We try to make up for the gap in a relationship through money. Where there’s a relationship, and mutual trust, money does not matter. Whether a family is rich or poor, all parents try to provide the best for their children to their financial capacity. We will try to understand the trust in relationships through an activity.
Activity 2.1: Trust in Relationships
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: Students should be able to understand trust in relationships through understanding trust in themselves.
Steps of the activity:
The teacher should discuss the following questions with the students:
1. Make a list of the relatives and friends with whom the relationship is based on money or comfort.
2. Make another list where the relationship is not based on money or any comfort but something else. Also mention the basis of this relationship.
3. Do you feel more satisfied when you meet people from the first list, or the second one? Share the reason.
4. Which from the two lists are the more lasting relationships? Why?
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Is the basis of a relationship trust or money? Discuss.
2. Can we say that the families who spend more on their children have better relationships with them? Discuss.
3. Can we say by making more money and comforts available the families will have better relationships with the children in the future? Discuss.
4. Family relationships are not based on money. How? Discuss.
5. Money is needed to fulfil our physical needs, but it is not needed to keep relations strong. How? Discuss.
6. We don’t make friends based on their looks, skin tone, money or status. We see their behaviour and thought process. Agree/disagree? Discuss.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Note for teacher: Most of us have not experienced a single relationship that gives us continuous fulfilment all the time. We have assumed ups and downs in relationships as natural. Not a single relationship is free of complaints. In common parlance we say, “Utensils kept together will clang.” This is actually an excuse to cover our incompetence. All our knowledge falls flat here. We begin to bear the weight of our relationships. A huge reason for this misery is our lack of confidence in ourselves leading to lack of trust in relationships.
Activity 2.2: Intention and Competence
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To enable students to understand the difference between intention and competence, and to encourage them to increase their competence according to their intention (what they want, or basic aspiration).
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Day 1
Note for the teacher: There is a difference in our intention (what we want, our basic aspiration) and our competence (what we can do). That is why, there is a difference in what we say and what we do. If we understand that just like us, others too have a difference between their intention and competence, we would be able to understand their feelings better and our relationships would not fall apart.
Our basic aspiration is to live with a feeling of continuous happiness. At the same time, our intention is to keep others around us happy by our actions and behaviour. However, most of us are neither able to live with continuous happiness ourselves, nor are we able to keep others around us happy. This is because we lack competence for this.
Steps of the activity
- Teachers should draw the following table on the board:
(A)
|
Answer
|
1.A-
Do I want to be happy?
2.A-
Do I want to keep others happy?
3.A-
Does the other person want to be happy?
4.A-
Does the other person want to keep me happy?
|
|
(B)
|
Answer
|
1.B-
Am I always happy?
2.B-
Am I always able to keep the other person happy?
3.B-
Is the other person always happy?
4.B-
Is the other person always able to keep me happy?
|
- The students should write these questions in their notebook and write ‘Yes’, ‘No’ or ‘Not sure’ as appropriate as the answers.
- Once all the students write the answers, the teacher should start from Section A of the table and get the answers from the whole class and write them with the questions.
- Now ask the students to compare the answers of both sections.
- At the end, write the headings Intention and Competence for Section A and Section B respectively and make the difference clear to the students.
A.
Intention
|
B.
Competence
|
1.A-
Do I want to be happy?
2.A-
Do I want to keep others happy?
3.A-
Does the other person want to be happy?
4.A- Does the other person want to keep
me happy?
|
1.B-
Am I always happy?
2.B-
Am I always able to keep the other person happy?
3.B-
Is the other person always happy?
4.B- Is the other person always able to
keep me happy?
|
Proposed questions for discussion
What is the difference between intention and competence? Explain with an example.
Note to the teacher
Section A – Intention: What we want to actually be (our basic aspiration)
Section B – Competence: What we currently are
We all intend to live with a feeling of continuous happiness. Similarly, we also wish to keep others happy. But we are not able to do so because our competence to do so is missing.
For example, someone may not know how to drive but wants to be a good driver. To meet this intention, he would have to know traffic rules, the way a car operates, and practise with someone who knows how to drive a car. By understanding and continuous practice, the competence to drive will come and the person would be able to drive properly. Hence, just by having the intention, work is not completed; one has to develop competence for it.
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Teachers should write the questions of both sections on the board again and discuss with the students.
- In the end, write Intention above the first section and Competence above the second so that the difference is clear.
- Share an intention you have but you don’t have the competence needed for it as of now.
- Work depends on intention or competence? Share through examples.
- What should be done to develop competence?
- Why is there a difference in what we say and what we do?
- Can someone be trusted who says something but doesn’t do it?
- What effort will you put in to become trustworthy?
- “I am not what I say, I am what I do.” Discuss this statement with the class.
Dos and Don’ts
- Give a chance to the students to think and express.
- Teachers should not give a conclusion from their side, they should put forward questions that help students arrive at the right conclusion themselves.
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