For teacher’s reference
In the previous chapter, we saw –
Sensible parents keep an atmosphere of love and equality in the family and are competent in providing the right direction to their children. In a family, just like parents; grandparents, uncles and aunts give an atmosphere of love, guidance, education and security.
From birth itself, the parents have a special relationship with their children. From the time they are born, parents care for them and provide for all their needs and education. When parents grow old, the children look after them. In a sensible and happy family, everyone looks after each other and strives for everyone to be happy. This is the most important role of a family. All the elders of the family have understood and are able to live this. Children growing up in such families learn and understand these virtues and become competent in playing out this role themselves.
This, when continues generation after generation, is called a fulfilling relationship. There is happiness in the family when relationships are fulfilled. When they are not, the family members are unhappy and relationships are strained.
In this chapter, we will try to understand the relationships in the family.
Section 1: Family – a harmonious order
Story 1.1: The kite string
Story 1.2: A big man
Section 2: Participation in relationships
Story 2.1: Brother, not a burden
Story 2.2: All together
Section 3: Relationships in family
Activity 3.1: Recognising parent-child relationship
Activity 3.2: Recognising relationship with siblings and friends
For teacher’s reference
In most families, we often prioritise comforts over relationships. We tend to think that family is a space where everything should happen according to our wish, or one person's wish - but this is not the truth. Family is a space, an order where we together participate towards each other's happiness, and collectively as a unit, play our larger role in society.
Story 1.1: The kite string
Time: At least two periods or until the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To understand through the story that relationships are not meant to be constricting, instead, living in them is our need.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Learning Objective: We are all connected to each other through different human relationships. These relationships can sometimes seem like restrictions or constraints. There are invisible ties that keep us connected and can show us the right way. Similar to a kite that can fly high only when connected to the string. If the string gets cut, the kite is not able to fly. What is important here is that if the kite string is in the hands of someone who knows how to fly well, then the sky's the limit. The kite can reach new heights. Through this story, the attempt is for students to see how relationships keep us not only connected but enable us to live better.
Story
One day Manjeet was learning to fly a kite from his father at their house terrace. Manjeet’s father took the kite to a certain height and then gave the string to Manjeet to handle. Soon, his kite was flying in the open sky. Manjeet asked his father, “Don’t you feel the kite wants to free itself and fly higher in the sky, but the string that we hold stops it from flying that high. If we leave the string, it will fly higher.” Then Manjeet asked his father if they should cut its string.
His father, without saying anything, cut the string and set the kite free. The kite began to fly higher and Manjeet felt very happy. But in a short while, the kite started falling and landed on the terrace of a house. Manjeet was surprised to see this. His father put his hand gently on Manjeet’s shoulder and smiled and said, “I knew that if I cut the string, the kite would fall. It is by being tied with the string that the kite gets the right direction and it can fly high.
Manjeet was surprised and asked him, “If you knew then why did you cut the string when I asked you to?” His father said, “I wanted you to learn something from this kite.” Manjeet asked what his lesson was. His father said, “Our family and relationships tie us like this string. When we move ahead, fly high, then these relationships when required, give us room (like the kite string is let loose sometimes) and when required to pull us, they do so, to ensure that we don’t lose track. We can fly high and be successful in the open sky of this world only by being attached to our family ties. They give us the right direction.
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Elders in the family often correct and guide their children. Why do they do this? What do you feel they get by doing this?
2. Can you recall an incident when a member of your family told you to do something which you did not like then, but later you realised what they said was right?
3. In order to have the right direction and progress in life, the ties of family relationships are important. Agree/Disagree? Why?
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students):
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. Share one incident when your dear ones told you the right thing due to which you could save yourself from taking the wrong path.
2. Are such relationships that stop us time and again from doing the wrong thing and encourage us amid disappointment, important for everyone?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Story 1.2: A big man
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To help students develop respect for parents and also to ensure that they think before they assume anything about anyone.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Story
In a family, the parents were working hard to educate their child but their child would always look at the things his wealthier friends had, such as expensive mobile phones, watches etc. and would get annoyed with his parents. Once he got obsessed with the thought of buying a motorbike. The parents did not have money for it. When his father said no, the boy got very angry and decided to leave his house. He was so angry that he wore his father’s shoes instead of his own. He was thinking in his mind that he would walk out now and would return only when he became a big man. “If they can’t even buy me a bike, why do they dream of making me an engineer,” he thought.
He picked up his father’s wallet, which his father would not allow anyone to touch. He thought the wallet would have money and his accounts diary. He would then get to know where all his father had saved money.
As soon as he came on the road outside his lane, he felt something was hurting inside the shoes. He felt the pain but kept moving ahead in anger. When he reached a little ahead, he felt his foot was wet. There was water on the road. When he lifted his leg and saw, the sole of the shoe was broken and the nail was hurting as well. Anyhow, he reached the bus stop limping. When there was no bus that came to the stop for long, he thought he should open the wallet and check what’s inside. He opened the wallet and found a slip inside which read, “Borrowed Rs. 10,000 for mobile.” He remembered that the previous month his father had got him a mobile by borrowing money from someone.
He saw another folded paper inside the wallet. It had a chit from his father’s office hobby day programme. His father had written his hobby – wearing good shoes. He looked at this father's shoes which he was wearing and felt sad. He remembered that for the past four months his mother would tell his father on his salary day to buy new shoes. His father would laugh it off saying his shoes would last another six months. “Now I understand how long they would last,” the boy thought to himself.
He opened a third chit from the wallet. On that, there was an ad which read, “Buy a new bike by exchanging old scooter.” As soon as he read this, his mind was baffled. “This means that Papa will exchange his scooter to buy me . . . ,” he thought as he ran towards his house. He didn’t find his father nor the scooter at home. He understood everything and went running to the nearby motorbike agency. He saw his father there; he ran and hugged him. His father’s shoulder was wet with the boy’s tears. He told his father, “I don’t want a motorbike. Please get new shoes for yourself. I do want to be a big man, but like you.”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Have you got influenced by someone and demanded something from your parents? Share with an example.
2. Are expensive mobile phones, watches, cycles etc. important to get success in life? Why?
3. Why do parents want to educate their children despite facing hardships?
4. Have you ever sat and discussed with your parents how much they spend on their own needs from their income? If yes, then why? If no, then why not?
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for the students)
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. Has it ever happened that you made an assumption about someone without knowing the whole thing and then later you realised that your assumption was wrong.
2. Who is a ‘big man’ according to you and why?
3. In what way will you become big, and how?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
For teacher’s reference
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To encourage students to trust family relationships and inspire them to fulfill them.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Story
Two friends met each other suddenly one day. They asked each other about their well being. The first friend said everything was going well. The other friend was a little upset. He shared that the previous year his father had passed away, after which the burden of his younger brother’s education came on his head. Rest everything else was fine. Then they saw a girl, aged nine or 10, carrying her younger brother on her shoulders and climbing uphill. She was sweating profusely but kept climbing.
When she was passing by the friends they sympathetically said, “Beta, you are sweating. You must be tired of your brother's burden on your back. Let us help you by carrying him for a while. You’ll get some rest.” The little girl looked at the two friends and said, “What are you saying, Uncle? It must be a burden for you? For me, he is my younger brother, not a burden.”
When they heard her answer, the two friends realised how they were talking of their family a while back. The girl understands her relationship with her brother and can't imagine him as a burden. The second friend realised his wrong feeling towards his brother. A little girl made him understand that a brother is a brother, not a burden.
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Which of your relationships do you not consider to be a burden? Why?
2. Why don’t the relationships you mentioned above (i.e. the ones you have accepted) seem like a burden to you?
3. What is the difference between burden and responsibility?
4. What is the difference between - maintaining a relationship while considering it to be a burden and maintaining one where it is considered to be a responsibility?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. How can you bring harmony in family relationships? Give examples from your life. (If students don’t give a clear answer then some possible answers can be – looking after the other, holding conversations, spending happy time together etc.)
2. What responsibilities do you take care of in your family and why?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Do’s and Don’ts
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To help students understand the importance of living together with a feeling of oneness (i.e. feeling united) in a family.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Direction of Discussion (For Teachers): Staying together and being able to function collectively as a family requires a feeling of oneness. Oneness means being able to see how all of us desire to live together, take care of each other and be happy. Drawing our attention towards these intrinsic desires, will allow us to live with this feeling of oneness or in other words, togetherness. Similarly, if we are able to live with this feeling of oneness in our society, country and planet; then life will be devoid of unhappiness.
Living with a feeling of oneness beyond the family will inculcate a feeling of undividedness with the entire world, which will bring about immense strength and happiness in every individual.
Story
A man had four sons who would constantly fight with each other. The man would try to make them understand but they wouldn’t understand anything. When he couldn’t make them understand by talking to them, he decided to experiment and get a solution to this problem.
One day he told his sons to bring him a bundle of sticks. When they got him that bundle, he gave each son the bundle turn by turn and asked them to break it. One by one, each son applied their full strength but were unsuccessful. Then the man opened the bundle and separated the sticks and gave the sticks to the sons to break. Now, they could break the sticks easily.
Now the man said, “Sons, if you live together and stay united to help each other, even in dire circumstances you would be strong like this bundle. If you are divided, you can feel isolated and anyone can cause harm to you.”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. When do families break – when there is no money or when there’s no unity?
2. Even if a school cricket team or music team has the most talented students, can it win without unity?
3. Has it ever happened with you that you could not work together and you had to bear the loss caused by that? Explain with an example and also share the outcome.
4. When have you seen work happening smoothly because of unity and togetherness in the family? Share with an example.
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. How do you work collectively in school? And are you successful at it?
2. Share any work you did collectively in your neighbourhood.
3. According to you, why are people unable to live unitedly even though they know that unity is helpful for everyone?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
For teacher’s reference
A human being is always living in relationships. Be it when one is in the mother’s womb, or in a parent’s lap, one is in a relationship. A sensible person understands the purpose of (that is, the expectation in) each relationship. For example, a mother understands her purpose as a mother in taking care of her child - be it an infant, adolescent or youth. Similarly, a father is able to recognise his purpose for nurturing his child. A child experiences the nurturing and protection of his/her parents and experiences a feeling of gratitude towards them. In this section, we will try to understand the purpose of some of our relationships - in other words, the inherent expectations or feelings in them. These inherent expectations are expectations of value fulfillment. These expectations are recognised by a sensible person and fulfilled by them in his/her relationships.
Activity 3.1: Recognising parent-child relationship
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning Objective:
1. Students explore what a parent-child relationship entails.
2. Understand the complementarity of feelings of the parent-child relationship.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Day 1
Steps of the activity
Divide the students into 4-5 groups. Write the following four questions on a slip and give it to each group. Ask them to discuss among themselves and note the main points on the slip –
1. What are your expectations from your parents? Share examples.
2. What are your expectations from your mother? Give examples.
3. What are your expectations from your father? Give examples.
4. What are your parents’ expectations from you?
5. Are these expectations of material things only or are also of feelings? Give examples of some feelings. (Clue: Love, Affection, Care etc.)
After the discussion, each group shares their points (3 mins each).
Proposed questions for discussion
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. Students make a list of the things their parents do for them and present it in class.
2. Discuss the feelings of ‘Care’ and ‘Guidance’ which parents express:
(Care: The feeling of responsibility of nutrition and protection (physical growth) of one’s child.
Guidance: The feeling of responsibility to ensure a child’s emotional, psychological and intellectual growth.)
Proposed questions for discussion
1. How do you see your parents’ feeling of Care and Guidance towards you?
2. What do your parents do to ensure you are healthy?
3. What all do your parents do to make you sensible and responsible?
4. What responsibilities do you feel you have towards your parents?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Activity 3.2: Recognising relationship with siblings and friends
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective:
1. The students will be able to understand the value of Trust and Respect between siblings.
2. The students will understand the value of Complementarity amongst friends.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Note for the teacher: In a family, the relationship between siblings is discussed from childhood. It is also a custom to often address girls/boys as sisters/brothers whether in the family or the neighbourhood. Addressing someone as a brother/sister is also the beginning of a relationship. In order to understand the relationship beyond addressal, we need to understand the purpose of relationships. The purpose is defined by the role (participation) we have in our relationships like the one of mutual growth between brothers, sisters, friends.
This purpose defines the expectations that we have from our relationships. Our expectations are of values that we want to feel and exhibit in relationships. For example, care, affection, etc. In this activity, we will try to recognise the expectations (i.e. values) that exist in relationships between siblings and between friends.
Steps of the activity
Divide the students into 4-5 groups and write the following questions on the board or a chit and give each group 5 minutes to discuss.
1. Whom do we recognise as our brothers/sisters?
2. What are our exspectations from our siblings? Give examples.
3. Are these expectations of just things/objects or feelings too? Give examples.
4. Do we have these expectations from our friends too?
Now one student from each group presents their thoughts in 3 minutes.
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Are the above expectations (written by the students on the chit) always met or not? Discuss.
2. Does the member who is not able to meet them lack intention or competence to fulfil the task? Discuss.
3. If your sibling does help you but without a feeling of respect, how would you feel? If it has ever happened, share an example.
4. If your friends share something of theirs with you- like a book, something to play with etc. but also taunts that you don’t own that thing, how will you feel? If it has ever happened, explain with an example.
5. Have you ever not trusted or respected your siblings or friends or taunted them over something? Share the incident.
6. Everybody needs trust and respect or just you? If everybody needs it, then what things should you keep in mind to live in togetherness?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
-----------------------------
In the previous chapter, we saw –
- Only a sensible person can be happy.
- Once a person understands his/her needs in human relationships and of material, then the person becomes competent in fulfilling them.
- This clarity makes a person sensible. That is why he/she is able to be happy.
- A happy person can truly play a constructive role in the family and society.
Sensible parents keep an atmosphere of love and equality in the family and are competent in providing the right direction to their children. In a family, just like parents; grandparents, uncles and aunts give an atmosphere of love, guidance, education and security.
From birth itself, the parents have a special relationship with their children. From the time they are born, parents care for them and provide for all their needs and education. When parents grow old, the children look after them. In a sensible and happy family, everyone looks after each other and strives for everyone to be happy. This is the most important role of a family. All the elders of the family have understood and are able to live this. Children growing up in such families learn and understand these virtues and become competent in playing out this role themselves.
This, when continues generation after generation, is called a fulfilling relationship. There is happiness in the family when relationships are fulfilled. When they are not, the family members are unhappy and relationships are strained.
In this chapter, we will try to understand the relationships in the family.
Section 1: Family – a harmonious order
Story 1.1: The kite string
Story 1.2: A big man
Section 2: Participation in relationships
Story 2.1: Brother, not a burden
Story 2.2: All together
Section 3: Relationships in family
Activity 3.1: Recognising parent-child relationship
Activity 3.2: Recognising relationship with siblings and friends
Section 1: Family – a Harmonious Unit
For teacher’s reference
In most families, we often prioritise comforts over relationships. We tend to think that family is a space where everything should happen according to our wish, or one person's wish - but this is not the truth. Family is a space, an order where we together participate towards each other's happiness, and collectively as a unit, play our larger role in society.
Story 1.1: The kite string
Time: At least two periods or until the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To understand through the story that relationships are not meant to be constricting, instead, living in them is our need.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Learning Objective: We are all connected to each other through different human relationships. These relationships can sometimes seem like restrictions or constraints. There are invisible ties that keep us connected and can show us the right way. Similar to a kite that can fly high only when connected to the string. If the string gets cut, the kite is not able to fly. What is important here is that if the kite string is in the hands of someone who knows how to fly well, then the sky's the limit. The kite can reach new heights. Through this story, the attempt is for students to see how relationships keep us not only connected but enable us to live better.
Story
One day Manjeet was learning to fly a kite from his father at their house terrace. Manjeet’s father took the kite to a certain height and then gave the string to Manjeet to handle. Soon, his kite was flying in the open sky. Manjeet asked his father, “Don’t you feel the kite wants to free itself and fly higher in the sky, but the string that we hold stops it from flying that high. If we leave the string, it will fly higher.” Then Manjeet asked his father if they should cut its string.
His father, without saying anything, cut the string and set the kite free. The kite began to fly higher and Manjeet felt very happy. But in a short while, the kite started falling and landed on the terrace of a house. Manjeet was surprised to see this. His father put his hand gently on Manjeet’s shoulder and smiled and said, “I knew that if I cut the string, the kite would fall. It is by being tied with the string that the kite gets the right direction and it can fly high.
Manjeet was surprised and asked him, “If you knew then why did you cut the string when I asked you to?” His father said, “I wanted you to learn something from this kite.” Manjeet asked what his lesson was. His father said, “Our family and relationships tie us like this string. When we move ahead, fly high, then these relationships when required, give us room (like the kite string is let loose sometimes) and when required to pull us, they do so, to ensure that we don’t lose track. We can fly high and be successful in the open sky of this world only by being attached to our family ties. They give us the right direction.
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Elders in the family often correct and guide their children. Why do they do this? What do you feel they get by doing this?
2. Can you recall an incident when a member of your family told you to do something which you did not like then, but later you realised what they said was right?
3. In order to have the right direction and progress in life, the ties of family relationships are important. Agree/Disagree? Why?
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students):
- Students should try and understand by talking to their parents or elder siblings that when they were children, they too sometimes find their parents’ behaviour restricting like the kite string?
- Did they also think that once freed from the string, we will fly higher?
- Also try to ask them what they think about the same things today.
- Students should also pay attention to: when did someone try to explain something to them and who was that person? How are they related to you? How much happiness does that relationship give to you?
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Have some students recall the story.
- Have them share the feedback received from their homes in small groups.
- The first day’s discussion questions can be used again for the remaining students.
1. Share one incident when your dear ones told you the right thing due to which you could save yourself from taking the wrong path.
2. Are such relationships that stop us time and again from doing the wrong thing and encourage us amid disappointment, important for everyone?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Story 1.2: A big man
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To help students develop respect for parents and also to ensure that they think before they assume anything about anyone.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Story
In a family, the parents were working hard to educate their child but their child would always look at the things his wealthier friends had, such as expensive mobile phones, watches etc. and would get annoyed with his parents. Once he got obsessed with the thought of buying a motorbike. The parents did not have money for it. When his father said no, the boy got very angry and decided to leave his house. He was so angry that he wore his father’s shoes instead of his own. He was thinking in his mind that he would walk out now and would return only when he became a big man. “If they can’t even buy me a bike, why do they dream of making me an engineer,” he thought.
He picked up his father’s wallet, which his father would not allow anyone to touch. He thought the wallet would have money and his accounts diary. He would then get to know where all his father had saved money.
As soon as he came on the road outside his lane, he felt something was hurting inside the shoes. He felt the pain but kept moving ahead in anger. When he reached a little ahead, he felt his foot was wet. There was water on the road. When he lifted his leg and saw, the sole of the shoe was broken and the nail was hurting as well. Anyhow, he reached the bus stop limping. When there was no bus that came to the stop for long, he thought he should open the wallet and check what’s inside. He opened the wallet and found a slip inside which read, “Borrowed Rs. 10,000 for mobile.” He remembered that the previous month his father had got him a mobile by borrowing money from someone.
He saw another folded paper inside the wallet. It had a chit from his father’s office hobby day programme. His father had written his hobby – wearing good shoes. He looked at this father's shoes which he was wearing and felt sad. He remembered that for the past four months his mother would tell his father on his salary day to buy new shoes. His father would laugh it off saying his shoes would last another six months. “Now I understand how long they would last,” the boy thought to himself.
He opened a third chit from the wallet. On that, there was an ad which read, “Buy a new bike by exchanging old scooter.” As soon as he read this, his mind was baffled. “This means that Papa will exchange his scooter to buy me . . . ,” he thought as he ran towards his house. He didn’t find his father nor the scooter at home. He understood everything and went running to the nearby motorbike agency. He saw his father there; he ran and hugged him. His father’s shoulder was wet with the boy’s tears. He told his father, “I don’t want a motorbike. Please get new shoes for yourself. I do want to be a big man, but like you.”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Have you got influenced by someone and demanded something from your parents? Share with an example.
2. Are expensive mobile phones, watches, cycles etc. important to get success in life? Why?
3. Why do parents want to educate their children despite facing hardships?
4. Have you ever sat and discussed with your parents how much they spend on their own needs from their income? If yes, then why? If no, then why not?
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for the students)
- Students should discuss the story at home and understand the thoughts and views of their family members. They should also discuss the above questions with them.
- Students should have a discussion with their parents about how they organise money for running their house and fulfilling their (students) educational needs or demands. What are their parents income and financial responsibilities?
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Have some students recall the story.
- The first day’s discussion questions can be used again for recall.
- Have them share the feedback received from their homes in small groups. Some students can share their thoughts with the entire class.
1. Has it ever happened that you made an assumption about someone without knowing the whole thing and then later you realised that your assumption was wrong.
2. Who is a ‘big man’ according to you and why?
3. In what way will you become big, and how?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Section 2: Participation in relationships
For teacher’s reference
- We are constantly trying to fulfill the relationship we have with another person. This is our natural desire.
- We can observe relationships at the level of family and friends, and at the level of society (colleagues, co-workers, etc). We naturally want all our relationships to be fulfilling. Fulfillment comes from participation. That is, to contribute to each others’ growth, ensure steadiness of feelings and keep helping the other as per the needs of the person and situations. This participation is our role and responsibility (in our relationships). Trying to escape this role is a sign of running away from our responsibilities.
- Being able to participate with a sense of responsibility is what fulfilling relationships is all about. In other words, this participation or role is our fulfillment in relationships.
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To encourage students to trust family relationships and inspire them to fulfill them.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Story
Two friends met each other suddenly one day. They asked each other about their well being. The first friend said everything was going well. The other friend was a little upset. He shared that the previous year his father had passed away, after which the burden of his younger brother’s education came on his head. Rest everything else was fine. Then they saw a girl, aged nine or 10, carrying her younger brother on her shoulders and climbing uphill. She was sweating profusely but kept climbing.
When she was passing by the friends they sympathetically said, “Beta, you are sweating. You must be tired of your brother's burden on your back. Let us help you by carrying him for a while. You’ll get some rest.” The little girl looked at the two friends and said, “What are you saying, Uncle? It must be a burden for you? For me, he is my younger brother, not a burden.”
When they heard her answer, the two friends realised how they were talking of their family a while back. The girl understands her relationship with her brother and can't imagine him as a burden. The second friend realised his wrong feeling towards his brother. A little girl made him understand that a brother is a brother, not a burden.
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Which of your relationships do you not consider to be a burden? Why?
2. Why don’t the relationships you mentioned above (i.e. the ones you have accepted) seem like a burden to you?
3. What is the difference between burden and responsibility?
4. What is the difference between - maintaining a relationship while considering it to be a burden and maintaining one where it is considered to be a responsibility?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Have some students recall the story.
- The first day’s questions for discussion can be used again for recall.
- Have them share the feedback received from their homes in small groups. Some students can share their thoughts with the entire class.
1. How can you bring harmony in family relationships? Give examples from your life. (If students don’t give a clear answer then some possible answers can be – looking after the other, holding conversations, spending happy time together etc.)
2. What responsibilities do you take care of in your family and why?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Do’s and Don’ts
- Give everyone an opportunity to express themselves and listen to them patiently.
- Make sure that all the students participate in the discussion.
- Encourage and support the students who are hesitant to participate in the discussion.
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective: To help students understand the importance of living together with a feeling of oneness (i.e. feeling united) in a family.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Direction of Discussion (For Teachers): Staying together and being able to function collectively as a family requires a feeling of oneness. Oneness means being able to see how all of us desire to live together, take care of each other and be happy. Drawing our attention towards these intrinsic desires, will allow us to live with this feeling of oneness or in other words, togetherness. Similarly, if we are able to live with this feeling of oneness in our society, country and planet; then life will be devoid of unhappiness.
Living with a feeling of oneness beyond the family will inculcate a feeling of undividedness with the entire world, which will bring about immense strength and happiness in every individual.
Story
A man had four sons who would constantly fight with each other. The man would try to make them understand but they wouldn’t understand anything. When he couldn’t make them understand by talking to them, he decided to experiment and get a solution to this problem.
One day he told his sons to bring him a bundle of sticks. When they got him that bundle, he gave each son the bundle turn by turn and asked them to break it. One by one, each son applied their full strength but were unsuccessful. Then the man opened the bundle and separated the sticks and gave the sticks to the sons to break. Now, they could break the sticks easily.
Now the man said, “Sons, if you live together and stay united to help each other, even in dire circumstances you would be strong like this bundle. If you are divided, you can feel isolated and anyone can cause harm to you.”
Day 1
Proposed questions for discussion
1. When do families break – when there is no money or when there’s no unity?
2. Even if a school cricket team or music team has the most talented students, can it win without unity?
3. Has it ever happened with you that you could not work together and you had to bear the loss caused by that? Explain with an example and also share the outcome.
4. When have you seen work happening smoothly because of unity and togetherness in the family? Share with an example.
At home – Observe, Enquire, Understand (for students)
- Students should discuss the story at home and understand the thoughts and views of their family members. They should also discuss the above questions with their family members.
- Students should compile examples from their neighbourhood where they can find the importance of living with unity. They should discuss this with their family as well.
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
- Have some students recall the story.
- The first day’s discussion questions can be used again for the remaining students.
- Have them share the feedback received from their homes in small groups. Some students can share their thoughts with the entire class.
1. How do you work collectively in school? And are you successful at it?
2. Share any work you did collectively in your neighbourhood.
3. According to you, why are people unable to live unitedly even though they know that unity is helpful for everyone?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Section 3: Relationships in family
For teacher’s reference
A human being is always living in relationships. Be it when one is in the mother’s womb, or in a parent’s lap, one is in a relationship. A sensible person understands the purpose of (that is, the expectation in) each relationship. For example, a mother understands her purpose as a mother in taking care of her child - be it an infant, adolescent or youth. Similarly, a father is able to recognise his purpose for nurturing his child. A child experiences the nurturing and protection of his/her parents and experiences a feeling of gratitude towards them. In this section, we will try to understand the purpose of some of our relationships - in other words, the inherent expectations or feelings in them. These inherent expectations are expectations of value fulfillment. These expectations are recognised by a sensible person and fulfilled by them in his/her relationships.
Activity 3.1: Recognising parent-child relationship
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning Objective:
1. Students explore what a parent-child relationship entails.
2. Understand the complementarity of feelings of the parent-child relationship.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Day 1
Steps of the activity
Divide the students into 4-5 groups. Write the following four questions on a slip and give it to each group. Ask them to discuss among themselves and note the main points on the slip –
1. What are your expectations from your parents? Share examples.
2. What are your expectations from your mother? Give examples.
3. What are your expectations from your father? Give examples.
4. What are your parents’ expectations from you?
5. Are these expectations of material things only or are also of feelings? Give examples of some feelings. (Clue: Love, Affection, Care etc.)
After the discussion, each group shares their points (3 mins each).
Proposed questions for discussion
- Are the above expectations (the ones that students have written) always met - or not? Discuss.
- Does the family member who’s not able to meet the expectation lack intention (does not want to fulfil) or competence (is unable to do it)? Discuss.
- Do your parents want you to be self-reliant when you grow up or want you to continue to be dependent on them? Do all parents desire the same?
- Do you want to be self-reliant when you grow up or be dependent on your parents? Do the students think alike on this or differ?
Day 2
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
1. Students make a list of the things their parents do for them and present it in class.
2. Discuss the feelings of ‘Care’ and ‘Guidance’ which parents express:
(Care: The feeling of responsibility of nutrition and protection (physical growth) of one’s child.
Guidance: The feeling of responsibility to ensure a child’s emotional, psychological and intellectual growth.)
- Which relationships are similar to the one with parents? Discuss.
- Discuss the feeling of gratitude with the child.
Proposed questions for discussion
1. How do you see your parents’ feeling of Care and Guidance towards you?
2. What do your parents do to ensure you are healthy?
3. What all do your parents do to make you sensible and responsible?
4. What responsibilities do you feel you have towards your parents?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
Activity 3.2: Recognising relationship with siblings and friends
Time: At least two periods or till the teacher is satisfied.
Learning objective:
1. The students will be able to understand the value of Trust and Respect between siblings.
2. The students will understand the value of Complementarity amongst friends.
Start the class with mindfulness – ask the students to focus on their breath for 2-3 minutes.
Note for the teacher: In a family, the relationship between siblings is discussed from childhood. It is also a custom to often address girls/boys as sisters/brothers whether in the family or the neighbourhood. Addressing someone as a brother/sister is also the beginning of a relationship. In order to understand the relationship beyond addressal, we need to understand the purpose of relationships. The purpose is defined by the role (participation) we have in our relationships like the one of mutual growth between brothers, sisters, friends.
This purpose defines the expectations that we have from our relationships. Our expectations are of values that we want to feel and exhibit in relationships. For example, care, affection, etc. In this activity, we will try to recognise the expectations (i.e. values) that exist in relationships between siblings and between friends.
Steps of the activity
Divide the students into 4-5 groups and write the following questions on the board or a chit and give each group 5 minutes to discuss.
1. Whom do we recognise as our brothers/sisters?
2. What are our exspectations from our siblings? Give examples.
3. Are these expectations of just things/objects or feelings too? Give examples.
4. Do we have these expectations from our friends too?
Now one student from each group presents their thoughts in 3 minutes.
Proposed questions for discussion
1. Are the above expectations (written by the students on the chit) always met or not? Discuss.
2. Does the member who is not able to meet them lack intention or competence to fulfil the task? Discuss.
3. If your sibling does help you but without a feeling of respect, how would you feel? If it has ever happened, share an example.
4. If your friends share something of theirs with you- like a book, something to play with etc. but also taunts that you don’t own that thing, how will you feel? If it has ever happened, explain with an example.
5. Have you ever not trusted or respected your siblings or friends or taunted them over something? Share the incident.
6. Everybody needs trust and respect or just you? If everybody needs it, then what things should you keep in mind to live in togetherness?
Ask the students to sit quietly for 1-2 minutes and reflect on the essence drawn from the day’s discussion.
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- Chapter 1: Understanding Happiness
- Chapter 2: Need
- Chapter 3: Needs of the Self
- Chapter 4: Trust and Confidence
- Chapter 5: Identifying Commonness
- Chapter 6: Sensible person = happy person
- Chapter 7: Happy Family
- Chapter 8: A Happy Society
- Chapter 9: Nature and Space
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